First Practice as a "Big Girl"

Growing up, I always played softball with older girls. I was just too awesome for my own age bracket. ;)

What happens when you have one girl playing with girls that are two (and even sometimes three years) older is not necessarily good. Sure I learned a lot and was a better player for it, but I was allowed some priveleges the others weren't. For example, I was allowed to lose my head (i.e., temper) because I was just "little Stephanie." And, while the other girls did other things their age like dating and driving, I always fell behind. So, I fell into a rut, always wondering when I'd be "all old and mature" like the girls who were naturally 2-3 steps ahead of me. In a way, it kept me young. But in a way, it kept me looking up to someone else instead of myself.

And okay, I was a captain of the JV and Varsity sports I played, but in high school that's like being "head counter of the stretching circle." It's not much of a real leadership position.

That all changed when I went to college and walked on to the NCAA-DI softball team. I was a lowly freshman--and a walk-on--so I didn't get much time or attention from the other girls and coaches. I wasn't a starter and I wasn't even in the rotation; I was a bull-pen catcher, pitch-tracker and equipment manager. I learned quickly that if I wanted batting practice, I had to make time to do it before or after practice (since I pretty much only caught during practice). And if I wanted to really learn anything or hone a specific skill, I had to reach out and ask for that help. Luckily, we had a great pitching coach who worked with all the catchers with scouting and pitch-calling. Because the bull-pen catchers were responsible for not only tracking our own pitchers but the opposing team's pitchers during the games, we spend hours in the coach's office or in the locker room reviewing scouting tape after scouting tape and discussing the opposing team's weaknesses. I think that was the first time I really started thinking for myself in the "big picture" idea of softball.

Sure I'd called my own pitches before college; and I knew HOW to call pitches based on the hitter's swing, stance, history, number of outs, pitch count, etc. But when we did the scouting reports in college, I started thinking about calling pitches based on my own team's strengths and weaknesses. We talked about which pitchers to throw to which teams, and being a bull-pen catcher it was my job to know how each pitcher was throwing at all times. It was kind of like being an assistant coach's assistant coach. I got to say "No, don't throw her, her drop-change isn't working today; throw her instead because her knuckle ball is definitely working today." I had a say in the line-up.

And my dad used to ask my opinion when he helped put together line-ups for my summer ball team as a kid. That was always fun for me. We discussed who should bat where and why. But, really, it was just fun. It wasn't like I was actively managing the team's game decisions.

Now I have that opportunity. I am co-head coach of a 16U travel ball team. I'll be making the line-ups. I'll be giving the signals on third base (well maybe not yet) and behind the plate. I'll decide who plays where and when. I'll plan the practices and stations. And I'll have to be able to multi-task in order to do it all.

Today was my first practice as THE coach of the team. Today, I realized when I got home, I was a Big Girl. And it went alright, I think. It could have gone better, but it could have been a lot worse. Mainly, I still need to work on timing of stations. I also need to work on keeping the girls focused and on their A game. A lot of the girls on my team don't focus if it's not their turn, and most will give up if they start messing up. These will be our biggest two challenges overall. And it's tough to balance the two. I want the girls to have FUN when they play, but I don't want them goofing off and distracting themselves or others. I also want the girls to keep at it and have fun, even if they miss a grounder or make an over throw. At the level of 16U, there's little room for these errors and I know that these two mental errors (lack of focus and giving up) are what cause the physical errors. I've been through it all, so I know.

And today was my first day as the Big Girl, showing them how it gets done. I don't have the full respect of all the girls yet, but I'm hoping that won't take long. I just need to keep doing my job as the leader.

As for line-ups and signals and all that other coaching stuff, I still have some time to wrap my head around it all.