What if it ain't broke, but it ain't fixed either?

I don't know. Sometimes, I just don't. Sometimes, I'm okay with that. Tonight is not one of those nights.

I'll be damned if that last post wasn't just a crystal ball prediction of how we played last weekend. We played smart, we made double plays and checked for runners and kept our heads straight. Sure the 'tudes came and went; and, yes, we struggled with the bats at times. But we played well for the most part; it was a huge confidence builder for us all.

This week? A totally different story. Practices were sketch. Real sketch. Lack of focus, lack of drive, lack of effort, lack of energy... Needless to say there was a lack of "play making" on Tuesday and Thursday. But I shrugged it off. I said to myself, "The girls are tired. We've played a long season so far. We just need to get through the week so we can get back into the games this weekend and they'll show up then."

Wrong! This morning was particularly rough. Zero--count them, ZERO--of the girls gave everything they had. And, of course, the few that gave the most made silly mistakes. Wow, you know? That's all I can think: Wow...

The second game was a little better, and the third game a little better than that. The competition also got a little easier as progressed through the day.

Anyway, we go into tomorrow morning straight off a big win. It was our first "3rd game of the day win" ever. EVER. So I'm happy about that. Only problem is that we face our own 14U team (who are playing up in the 16U brackets this weekend) tomorrow morning.

So, I don't know! Scratch that: I know too much! I spent all fall and winter with the 14s. I taught their catchers. I've spent any free time I had with that team this spring/summer. I've tracked their pitchers' pitches. I know their hitting signals. I know their pitching signals. I know their strengths and their weaknesses. I know the opportunities and threats we'll offer them. So, right now, I just don't know what to do...besides bring the A game and be happy that it's not an elimination game (the winner will stay in the Gold bracket, the loser will just fall to the Silver bracket...after that, it's single elimination for both teams).

I think what I'll tell myself and the girls is: Make the plays. And if they make an even better play, at least you can be happy for them.

Wish us (both the 16s and the 14s) luck!

Don't break what ain't fixed.

I'll be honest, I haven't posted in the last week because I was waiting for a good day. I feel like a lot of my posts lately have been a little too "realistic" (I won't say negative), so I was waiting for a really good day to bring back the positive.

Today was a long day. Hell, this whole season's been one long day it seems. Practice tonight was good, though. Not amazing, not even great; it was good; more importantly, it was solid. I can't ask for the impossible out of my girls and I know that. Whether or not I can ask them for 100% is still unclear to me, but tonight they gave a lot. And something -- I don't know what -- seemed to be working. Something seemed to click; they made plays they hadn't been making, they looked for runners when they usually forgot, they turned close double plays when they hadn't been able/thought to in the past. Whew. That's all I can think now: a sigh of relief.

Of course, we missed a few plays, didn't hit as well as I know we could've and the attitudes weren't perfect. But we're all flawed, right? That's alright. I'd take "giving it your all" and losing over "giving half, if even" and winning any day.

Anyway, we play in Richmond this weekend and I really want us to come out -- and STAY -- strong. Maybe it helped that we had all the girls (plus an extra we picked up for the last three tournaments) there tonight. Who knows; maybe the universe of "team dynamics" has been set straight again. I don't know! But I like it. It was a good practice, and I hope it means it'll be a good tournament.

Love the Business if it Spreads the "Music"

Music has always been an integral part of my life. It's always playing around me, and I'm always searching for that something "new" to keep me feeling alive. So, when I saw that the founder of Pandora Radio, Tim Westergren, took an interview on the Charlie Rose Show last night, I just had to watch. (You can click on the Charlie Rose Show link in the previous sentence to see the video.) As you may well know, Pandora is making huge leaps in the US music, radio and technology industries. It brings new and old music together based on a "music genome project" that classifies songs and artists by genre, sound, style and much more; it provides listeners with a stream of music based on what they want to hear, and allows the users to customize their radio "stations" to continually hear what they want, as well as discover new music/songs/artists.

During the fairly casual, 20-minute discussion, Charlie asked Tim an interesting question: "Do you love music or do you love business?" It seems like the expected response would be, as Tim first responded, "I love music." But he continued on to explain that "what makes [his] job so wonderful...is that [he's] getting to run a business that...is having a big impact, through music, on people. And...[he] can't imagine something more fulfilling."

It was the perfect answer, if you ask me. I mean, we all love something but that love isn't what will fulfill our lives. It's doing something through, or with, that love that makes it wonderful: life's about sharing the passion.

So, if you ask me: Do you love softball or do you love coaching? I love softball, hands-down. But I enjoy coaching so much because it enables me to share a passion (and some life lessons) through softball.

For my 25th birthday, I got a tattoo: "Ut Prosim." As people have noticed it, I've received a variety of different questions/responses, my favorite of which are:

• *Squinted eyes, as if trying to decipher gobbledygook* "What's that mean?";
• *Pensive look* "What's it mean?";
• *Rolls eyes* "That's a Tech thing, right?";
• *Steps back in shock* "So--what?--you're enlisting in the Army or something?"; and my absolute favorite
• *Raised eyebrow* "Ummmm, okay? I mean, are you still happy you got [the tattoo]?"

Ut Prosim is Latin for "that I may serve." Yes, it's Virginia Tech's motto; no, that's not why I got it. I guess, all my life I've been a "sharer," a "giver," a "listener," a "teacher." I've always been there for, and to help, others. There's very little that I do for ME; often times, in fact, I get lost in helping others that I don't realize I need help, too. Even my tattoo is ironically evident of this: it's was a gift to myself, but the premise is all about giving myself to others.

I've heard a lot of chitter chatter lately about me, the girls on my team, the other coaches, the organization and more. I won't say what's being said (mostly because I've only heard snippets), but I know it was just straight gossip. Unfortunately, gossip is a strange thing to behold and an even harder thing to control; like a forest fire, it can renew the land but, when it gets that dreaded draft of wind, there's no stopping it.

No matter what anyone says, this is what I do. I give. And I will continue to give and give and give, until I've got nothing left to give. As long as I'm breathing, though, I'll have something to give. It's something I want to instill in my friends and the girls I coach; I want to give them all I have so that they have something to give in return. Then, when my last breath's exhaled, I hope there's still something of me that I gave being passed on to others through love (even if it's not softball).