Our Lady of the Diamond

Kids today!

2012-02-11T10:17:00.001-05:00

Okay, so we all know that kids today are spoiled-rotten, disrespectful, pain in the you-know-whats. And I can guarantee you that your parents' generation said the same thing about you when you were a kid. It's a vicious cycle. Man begets man; man condemns man; man becomes man; man begets man; man condemns man; man becomes man; and on the cycle goes.

But why is it that kids today are just "SO BAD?" Maybe our generation of man-condemning is too sensitive? I'll let you be the judge. To each his own.

I find there's a fine line between "monkey-see, monkey-do" and "do as I say, not as I do" teaching methods. Not a parent -- but an educator of children, adolescents and young adults -- I find myself observing the way others parent more and more often...especially as I grow older into that "ticking clock" phase of my life. I see some parents with a nice balance of the two methods. They demonstrate good behavior and expect it in return, while there are still some adult things they do that they warn the children not to mimic (or, at least, not until they're "older," "out of my house," or "financially responsible for yourself"). Other parents lead mostly by the strict warnings of "not as I do" and still others lean more towards the "monkey-do" techniques. Who knows what is right, honestly? What works for one kid, does not work for another...many times each sibling is different from the next. I guess the best I can say is that the only "right" way is to pay attention and stand your ground (because you're the adult in the situation) however you need to teach your child a lesson.

This seems like a post that's not at all about softball, but it is...of course. It's mostly inspired by the video below that I think we've all seen and argued about 15 times at this point. Whether or not this father's actions were something you would replicate, he's standing his ground to teach his daughter a lesson the way he sees fit. He didn't put her in danger, other than inadvertently by the bullying she may face at school and in public, and he paid enough attention to his daughter to know when she disrespecting him to a point that required a learning lesson; and he paid enough attention to his daughter to know HOW to teach that lesson. I'm sure the message was loud and clear for her.

A lot of the comments I've seen so far have been, "Glad my dad doesn't own a gun...because he would definitely do something like this." I grew up in surburbia. No one had guns. Anyway. I don't know. I know that my parents would never ever do something like this -- "praise in public, reprimand privately," they always say -- and, to be honest, they never had to. One look of disappointment from either one of them was all the "grounding" or "punishment" I needed. But that was just us. I'm not perfect because of it; and I won't claim to be perfect anyhow. But it worked. I think I came out fine. I think I know how to hold my ground and teach a few lessons. And I think coaching has helped me realize that sometimes disappointment isn't enough and hard lessons need to be taught the hard way. I'm thankful for that. It's experience. Hopefully it'll make me a better parent...if my time doesn't run out first.

It all begins at the end...

2012-01-16T18:33:00.001-05:00

After what has been a tremendously "strange" past few weeks, leading to a lot of skepticism on my part (and that of my coaches and girls), I'm excited to say that things are panning out pretty well. I'm now the Vice President of our non-profit organization. I'm now the head coach of an INCREDIBLY talented showcase team; and one of my best friends -- who happens to be my mentor -- is at the helm of it all, as our manager.

To be honest, I went from one side of skepticism to the complete opposite. Just a few weeks ago, I had 6 girls for a local/travel team and was desperately searching for more girls/repeatedly telling myself to be patient and that the girls would come. Needless to say, I wasn't always optimistic about how the 2012 summer season would pan out; you can't field a team of 6 girls, can't even play without 9 on the roster. Then, after to some unexpected changes to the showcase 18U team in our organization, we decided to merge their 8 remaining girls with my 6. So, yes, I went from a local team of 6 to a showcase team of 14. Talk about turning a full 180; making a complete U-turn. And in the "quiet" mean-time of the off-season, when this decision was made, I found a whole new set of negativity to overcome: will I lose my position as Head Coach; will my girls object; will the other team's girls object; what if the the girls don't get along; what if girls leave because we won't play as many showcase tournaments; what if girls leave because we're playing showcases; will this make the organization look weak; will other teams and coaches see this merger as a sign of weakness for our team? Yikes. It's been a whirlwind of negativity surrounding me, but -- with the help of the coaches, girls and my therapist (god bless her) -- I've been able to keep a fairly positive mindset concerning the "big adjustment."

We started practice yesterday. And, whereas it was the ends of two different teams, it was the true beginning of a dynamite team. Thanks, in part, to a sleepover some of the girls (from both teams) had on Saturday night and a very positive team of coaches at practice, everything went as smooth as we could have hoped for. Sure, there were a few speedbumps -- but what practice doesn't have a few speedbumps, anyway?

I guess it also helped a bit that the girls at the sleepover had a bonding experience as they "forked" our manager's lawn, then proceeded to make tee-shirts for themselves and our manager. They formed their own inside joke, and woke me up with a phone call (on speakerphone) the next morning, just giggling away.

Anyway, I can't speak enough about the talent that's on this team now. I can't even begin to explain it. Hence, my biggest fear was whether or not the girls could get along; if they could get over their fear of "differences" and just play. And we haven't really PLAYED yet -- practice is always different from games and tournaments and showcases -- but the girls are off to an amazing start. One that is ten-fold better than that of the previous week at our annual holiday party. So, I'm happy. It's a great new beginning of what will become, despite the ends of what we knew.

And, on a side note, I'm in so much pain from practice yesterday. Please remind me to stretch and warm-up like the rest of the girls before I decide to pitch for batting practice. Dang.

How to Build a Team

2011-12-29T13:41:00.000-05:00

You see it all the time -- softball teams folding because one or two girls leave, and it's a shame. But why is it that way? There are a few ways to build a team and, of course, there are pros and cons to each. Let's look at some examples.

Some teams build their roster around a select number of girls. This is what some refer to as "core" building, where you have a core group of girls to which you add on other players each year, as the "others" age out or the core group ages up. This presents a great opportunity for the core group to truly mesh and develop a "sisterhood," which conveys on the field through trust, leadership, and mutual respect. However, typically "cores" are made up of only 5-6 girls. That means almost every year you have to fill at least 5 or 6 spots to fill an entire roster and, as girls age up into the older brackets, that can sometimes be very difficult to do.

Other teams build their roster around a position. For example, there are teams that will stack their bench with pitchers; the most common reason being that it keeps those pitchers off of other teams, so that no other team can compete against them. This, obviously, has its pros and cons. The major pro being that, yes, in fact, you do keep all (or the majority) of pitchers in the region on one team, so that you can dominate on defense. The major con, however, is that many pitchers aren't quite "utility" players; they can only play a select number of positions. It's rare to find a pitcher who also plays shortstop or center field, for example; typically, they pitch and stick to the corners (third base and first base). So, where as you try to stack your defense with a roster-sized pitching staff, you limit your defense by lacking any true, position-specific talent.

Another way to build a team is the "sick and tired" method. Whether it's the coaching staff that you can't stand (and think you can do better, yourself) or the organization, you -- and hopefully some of the other parents/girls on the team -- just get sick and tired of dealing with the BS. So, what do you do? You start your own team/organization. You find a lot of travel teams coming out of rec leagues through this method. You also find a lot of travel teams coming out of other travel team organizations this way. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. It really depends on how much support you have behind you from fellow coaches, players and parents. It also depends on how dedicated you are to developing a new team/organization -- you know, there's much more to it than just signing up for tournaments and running practices...like budgets, renting practice facilities, purchasing uniforms and equipment, sanctioning the team in the different leagues, maintaining rapport with the other coaches, players, parents, umpires and league directors, etc. Yikes. This is a long and difficult road. Plus, this method of team building tends to create an excess of new and half teams in the market, which can destroy other teams/organizations, and -- in the case of Richmond, for example -- create an environment where there are simply not enough girls to fill all the teams, reducing the quality of play.

The last way to build a team, that I've seen, is through the ever-dreaded "merger"; that is, when two teams decide to combine due to lack of players or to form one "super team." Team dynamics, especially with girls in sports, can win or lose games/tournaments. Merging two teams together can create tension between the girls, who now need to learn new names and ways, fight for their starting positions again, and learn to respect the new coaching staff. For the coaches, it can also present problems -- who will stay and who will go? Who will coach third or first? Who will create the roster? Who will run practices? Etc., etc., etc. Now, don't get me wrong. This way of building a team does have is cons; but it does have its advantages. For example, taking two teams that are of similar quality and dynamics, can create a great and productive atmosphere for a team.

Now, there's really no wrong or right way to build a team. It all depends on the situation, really, the coaching staff and the girls. Either way, it should be all about the girls and what's best for them. So build your team right, based on what's right for the girls.

The truth is out there...

2011-11-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

Maybe if you grew up watching the X-Files, you'll recognize the title of this blog. I did not, technically. I watched it from behind my father's chair because it scared the living daylights out of me.

Anyway, I'm browsing around this morning and stumble upon a Softball group on LinkedIn. I'm reading through some of the discussions (one in particular about pitchers calling their own pitches, which is outrageous) and I see a post from Kelly Jackson (as in the 1992 USA Gold Medalist) with a link to her website: CoachingAFemaleAthlete.com. So, with nothing better to do than look and apply to jobs, I check out her website. It's pretty legit with some great blogs on it like separating parent vs. coach, teaching focus at a young age, etc. I'll give it that, but then it links to their sister site: the Technique Doctor, where you can choose your sport, a coach, and then submit your video to be critiqued by that coach. Strange, I thought: "That really takes the human out of the game." I'm sure it's really that coach giving you real feedback, but where's the face-to-face interaction, the prior knowledge of the player to know how to really speak to them so that they'll LISTEN (and not just hear)?

Then, I'm going through their roster of softball coaches who will critique your film: head coach, pitcher, guy pitcher, defensive instructor, dad of a DI player and coach, pitcher, pitcher, infielder. The only place I expect that many pitchers is at a bar.

Now, I think about all the other personal instructors in Central Virginia and here's what I see: hitting coach, pitching coach, hitting coach, pitching coach, pitching coach, head coach, dad/coach, pitching coach. Why is it so difficult for catchers to come out and coach or instruct? And, no, that's not an invitation. I'm just saying.

It just leaves me wondering, am I the only real catching coach in Central Virginia? One that's played DI softball? I'm not talking about your baseball guys who work with girls. I'm talking about real fastpitch catchers giving back and giving lessons. Am I the only one? Hell, I'd be happy to be -- maybe my knees don't agree -- but where are these young catchers getting their instructions from? It hurts me to think that they're not getting the proper instruction (like I've seen lately)...falling down on pitches in the dirt, instead of kicking out their feet; not framing correctly; not approaching bunts correctly; not learning to call their own game; actually taking more than one step to make a throw-down. Catchers are tough gals, and tough finds in this day an age. But when you find one, make sure she gets the right instructions; otherwise, she's as worthless as a bat in the daylight.

So, yeah. That was one big rant. I guess I should apologize. But I'm open for discussion here, too. Who do you know that's played the game behind the plate and is coaching? What kind of instructions do you think your catchers need the most work on? How much are you willing to pay for catching lessons? Versus hitting instruction? Versus pitching lessons? Is it just that I'm taking crazy pills and there's no need for catching instructors in Central Virginia's fastpitch leagues?

The difference between 14s and 18s

2011-11-04T15:09:00.000-04:00

As part of my job search, I worked with a 14U team last night to oversee their progress, help where I could and try to get their catchers stoked about individual lessons that I may offer in the future. During their practice, I was able to work with all FOUR of their catchers (man, am I jealous...four catchers!) and we did basic drills on catching (literally) and blocking. I'd love to take the time to get them working towards throwing, as well, but that will all just depend on whether or not the instructor position will fit in to my new job schedule -- whenever I do get a new job, that is. And it was fun. 14s is a fun age group. Difficult, but fun. While the five of us catchers worked together, I had one staring off into space and another uncontrollably laughing, which led another to laugh along, too.

Afterwards, a friend of mine asked, "So was it different--working with 14s instead of 18s?" I thought for a moment and laughed before I replied, "No. It's the same. They goof off and gab instead of stretching because they haven't seen each other in a whole week. They hear but don't listen. They've been taught a certain way and no matter how hard you try, you can't break the bad habit that's technically broken but still works...for now."

My friend laughed and understood. Her daughter is the youngest on my team; a girl who's seen two pitching instructors over the years, been coached by her dad, and is now working with me on pitching; so she knows exactly what I mean.

I thought about it after we talked, though. 14s are different from 18s. Sure I've got a few 16-year-olds on my team, which isn't a big/mature step up from 14, but I've also got 17- and 18-year-olds on my team. The difference there is big; and I think it's made my younger ones step up. My 18s (no matter how old they really are) are more focused, more intent on learning, more intent on becoming a better player; it's not a social activity for them, anymore; it's not just a way for their parents to keep them active, instead of Facebooking and playing video games after school. I thought about all those 14s and wondered how many of them were out there to keep playing, and how many were doing it just because it was something to do.

When I was 11, I played on a 14U travel team. Let me tell you now that the age difference between 14 and 11 is huge; those girls were going into high school and had boyfriends, while I was going into middle school and practicing my signature for when I got to the Olympics. My dad used to call 14 the peak point in softball. A lot of those girls from the 14U team played just a year or two more and then quit to live their social lives or focus on school. I didn't understand my dad's theory at 11, but when I was 14 and playing 16U, I understood. 14, for some reason, is that age where girls begin to realize what matters in life: boys, school, their futures. At that age, they make up their minds (subconsciously, I think) about how much softball really means to them; and if they decide it's a social activity or that it doesn't mean much to them, their skills peak and they never progress any further. In those cases, the girls usually play a year or two more and then move on, because they can't keep up or it's not fun anymore or whatever.

When I joined my organization to coach, we had two teams, a 16U (mine) and a 14U team. It's funny, I've lost a lot of those 16s in the last two years; they'd already hit their peak and moved on, mentally. I, of course, wish them all the best still. And I look at that 14U team; they've lost a few players, but the majority of girls they've lost have moved on to other organizations to continue playing. Just a different group of girls, I guess. Or maybe they had the motivation they needed through those troublesome 14U years to keep them focused and intent on playing and improving. I walked in fresh to 16U team that I'm not sure had that support.

Two years later, here we are in 18s. Sure, I've only got seven girls right now, but I've got seven focused and intent players. Sure they goof off and gab, but they get their jobs done. And, even as the sun is setting, they ask for more reps. So, as I think back to this past Sunday when we went 0-2 and I think about the to-do list, I know that we'll accomplish it...because the girls want to.

And there you have it: that's the difference between 18s and 14s. The want.

The one weekend it HAS to rain...

2011-11-03T11:33:00.000-04:00

Of course whenever you need it to be sunny or warm, it's not; instead, it's wet and cold. We got rained out on Saturday this past weekend and switched to a three-game format on Sunday. I figured, "Hell, we'll play all three games and two of my pitchers haven't had game-time mound-time since August (or longer), so I'll just play all three games safely, let my pitchers do their thing and work in everybody into the spots they've been working at." Wrong. Right after game 2, they decided to cut our 3rd game because they were so behind in another bracket and had to eliminate fields...god forbid the Men's League had to wait that evening.

Anyway, so we didn't get all three games. Came out 0-2. But no one was unhappy in the end. There was no drama, no stress and the girls played comfortably, happily. I think most of them were just excited to be back in the game. So, maybe that was our trouble. Girls were too comfortable. We also had to use a good amount of guest players to fill the field, so that adds up to some of it--new faces, new thoughts on the game, etc., etc.--and we didn't get Saturday to find that good rhythm with the whole team, guests included. But I will give a BIG shout out to a few of my girls who played spectacularly, especially the ones who had been doubting themselves. They came out with gusto and poise and made some huge plays. I couldn't be more proud of them for that; and they should know who they are.

So, we're pretty much done now for the Fall, unless we want to travel. But right now, I think we got a good taste of what we're up against and what we need to become. There's a lot, now, on our to-do list. And we'll use the rest of the Fall and Winter to work on that list. #1 on that list? Find more girls. And I'm being patient. I know they'll surface, sometime. The rest on that list? Well, that's for me, my assistant coaches and girls to worry about.

But I'll keep you updated.

Everything 2.0

2011-10-28T20:42:00.000-04:00

I find myself in a bit of a quarter-life crisis--and if my mid-life crisis is nearly as bad, I'll be prepared. That's what I keep telling myself, at least. Everything right now just seems to be bad but good. Or good but bad. Or bad then good then bad; or vice versa. That's not my crisis, though; that's just life. Luckily for me, I've got a few dice to roll and some of them are falling in my favor. This weekend feels like one of those weekends...though the weather looks ominous...and cold. Haha.

Regardless, I'm starting everything over. Everything now is 2.0, refreshed, restarted, rebooted: softball 2.0; self 2.0; job 2.0. Right now, we've got 7 great girls that I wouldn't trade for the world. Right now, I've got a lot of time on my hands (and will soon have some unemployment checks) that I wouldn't trade for the world. It seems as if the stars have aligned just right so that I can make a change. Change for the better, that is.

Softball-wise--because that's what you came here to read about--we've taken a lot of this off time to work on individual skills and it's paid off, I think. We have our first fall tournament this weekend and I'm incredibly interested to see how we do. We'll have a lot of help from guest players--some that I know have a lot of talent and some that I'm taking some chances on; some that I know have commitments to other teams and some that I'm hoping will consider our team for next summer's season. Needless to say, I'm excited...and praying that this rain stops soon.

By the way, we finished the summer season pretty well. It just took us a long time to come around. Until the last tournament, in fact. But we came around! I'm not sure what it was, but it was something. Just to see those girls really fight and work and PLAY; it was quite a sight to behold. Finally, in that last tournament, we looked like the group of girls that I'd put together--the talent playing I'd try to mesh together finally meshing together. Funny how things work out like that. All I can say is that I'm happy we ended on a good note. And though we lost a few great ball players afterwards, we've got a really strong core group of girls that I'm looking forward to building upon. And that's why I'm so excited about this weekend.

But don't get me wrong. I really want to see the girls in action. And I want to the rest of the softball community to see the girls in action. To know who are and recognize us. To feel a bit of that nervousness and fear when they hear they're playing us; to feel that small pit in their gut ask the back of their mind whether or not they have enough to beat us. We're not there yet, but I'm hoping this weekend will be step one in working towards that. That's what I'm really excited for.

Wanted: Changes

2011-06-19T16:18:00.000-04:00

After 3 tough Saturdays and only 1 redeemable Sunday, my assistant coach and I are starting to see the little "errors" become more and more routine...for the more experienced girls. It's scary.

I can't say enough how pleased I am with all the girls, some of the times. And I can't tell you how continually surprised I am that the majority of my "little ones" are saving the butts of my "bigger ones." So what does that mean for us, with 3 tournaments under our belt now?

It means that it's time for change. We change leagues and cities this coming weekend and I'm going to take a chance on what I once I considered my "2nd string." I can't call them that anymore, though, because they're the ones stepping up and performing.

I'm not trying to be mean, either. I know some of the girls read this, so let me reiterate: I'm not trying to be mean. And I know all the girls are TRYING. But like Yoda says in The Empire Strikes Back, "Try not. Do. Or do not."

Where did THAT come from?

2011-05-31T19:27:00.000-04:00

While I know that every post I've made lately--"lately" is a very vague term--is something along the lines of "where has the time gone?" I just have to ask: "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?"

First of all, we had our first tournament this past weekend. It's really so, so hard to believe that summer is already here! And we're even starting later than we did last year. I'm not sure why I'm so surprised by it, I guess I've just been super busy...like with buying a house, which I also did this past weekend. Plus, this year is my first year all on my own as the only Head Coach of the team. :-D

Now, that's not really what the whole "Where did that come from?" is all about. What it's all about is this:

On Saturday, we played three games. Three games, in the sense of any softball tournament, isn't a lot. I mean, it's a good amount but it's a regular Saturday. And what I saw, to be honest, was on par with any Saturday from last year. But this year, regardless of how infrequently I posted here, I was really stinkin' excited about the team we'd put together. We took our time and hand-chose the girls that would fit the positions we needed to fill; and we've filled all those positions, except a third pitcher. So we're good. In fact, we're great. And I knew we would be. That's why I was a bit surprised to see the same old "same old" this past Saturday. We looked like a team that didn't like each other, that didn't care to be there, that would rather be anywhere else. I knew that wasn't the case, though. So, I don't know what was up. I think we were all just nervous and excited and anxious. Plus, we really hadn't practiced together -- all eleven of us -- but maybe once or twice. Sure, we had nine or ten together many times, but that's not the same is it? (Especially with GIRLS. Hate to say it, but I know boys are different. Girls just have to have that "mesh." I'll say it time and time again, too.)

Needless to say, because I feel like it's almost like beating a dead horse, but we stank. S-T, A-N-K; we ain't had no bath that day; we STANK; yeah, yeah, we STANK. Lost all three games. Looked "alright" in the third game, but lost bad the first two. Just couldn't get it together in the first two games. It was like we were the dead horse, being beat. Three times.

And I'll tell you what. I made very little changes to line-up and playing positions for Sunday. Why, you ask? (And I know you're asking, because you're not the first to judge and doubt my coaching decisions...) Because I KNEW in my heart that something just wasn't working that day. It wasn't our skills, it wasn't our abilities, it wasn't our heart. It was just something. Something I hope to never see again!

So, Sunday morning comes and we drew the early game, of course, for a lose-or-go-home situation. Maybe it was that? Maybe it forced the girls into realizing they had to really give it their all that day? Who knows... But whatever it was, it showed us the REAL team of girls that we have. We saw the push, the determination, the sweat, the effort, the raw talent and the extended reach of every single girl. Even one of my girls, who broke her hand on Saturday, was pacing the dugout and telling me things she saw about the girls and positions, etc.

We were STRONG on Sunday. S-T-R, O-N-G; you can't even hang with me; we STRONG; yeah, yeah, we STRONG. (Okay, I know that wasn't that good, but I tried.) We slaughtered a tough team in 5 innings. We ran over another tough competitor, and came close to slaughtering them but had that "unfortunate 4th inning." And then we lost 2-1 in the bottom of the 8th inning with 1 out, against a team that beat us 6-2 the day before.

After the first game on Sunday, I turned to my assistant coach and we both just laughed and shook our heads. Who knew where it came from, but it was heavenly! It was everything (and a bit more) than we knew we had in ourselves. Then game 2 came and went but we were still a bit too shocked to sit back and "enjoy" it. And after game 3, there wasn't much too say. We lost the game, really, on a few errors that cost us; but they weren't mental errors, just the effects of physical exhaustion.

When I approached the girls after that game they were all laughing and smiling, and one said, "Coach, I'm kinda glad we lost. We can't play another game." Another agreed and said, "We're so tired, it would've been embarrassing. We would've been embarrassed if we had to play another game." And I saw it in them. Between just playing three games on Saturday and really giving it their EVERYTHING for three games on Sunday, they were beat. And that alone brought a smile to my face. How can I ever be mad or upset or sad or disappointed or anything when I know so deep in my soul that they gave every little bit of energy in their minds, bodies and hearts to win those games; especially when they were all smiling up at me? I could tell they were proud of themselves. I was proud of them too, and I hope that much was clear.

Now we're off to Williamsburg for tournament #2 of 7 this weekend and I'm hoping that they give at least half of their Sunday performance on Saturday so that we're not faced with a 7-game Sunday to win it all. I know that they could really earn some trophies this year. I know it. I can't wait to see it.

Abuh...Here goes another 20lb

2011-04-18T21:30:00.001-04:00

Okay -- So, I never properly thanked all my lovely ladies, the adult league I play in and softball, in general, for helping me lose 20lb last summer. Let me do that now: Thanks!

Two weeks into adult league, which is of course the night after travel practices, I am absolutely, positvely, 100% sure that I may die. I have suddenly come to the conclusion that if I keep running around like this I will wilt away to nothing. I almost welcome this fate wholeheartedly. (Cheers to losing another pants' size!?)

It's also incredibly clear to me that I am no longer 20. And with an impending birthday looming just two months over my head, it's become extremely salient that I'm a long ways (one whole decade, in fact) away from 16. Abuh.

[Ed. note: "Abuh" is Stephanie-ism for "Dear-god-help-me."]

Anyway, enough about me. Softball's going great and I wish I updated more often. We added players number 10 and 11 to our roster, one of which is a tenured outfielder and the other being a great addition to our catching staff. So, now, the schedule is set, we're just a month and a half away from our first tournament and I'm getting very excited/anxious/scared/terrified-actually/abuh. I know it's going to be a great season. I can feel it in my bones. The girls are relaxed, happy and determined; I feel relaxed, happy and determined because of them. We had a great practice on Sunday, in fact--everybody worked hard and is doing well adjusting to the new girls on the field and off. Yay!

I think that's all I've got for tonight. Knees torn up, body barely responding, brain turned to moosh. Will update soon again!

It's official

2011-03-20T10:44:00.001-04:00

Well, if you couldn't guess by the title -- it's officially softball season. My girls are playing their high school games (need to start going to them now), I spent all yesterday watching softball games on ESPN3.com and I have my first outdoor practice of the season today. :-D [Ed. note: My girls have already had their first outdoor practice, but it rained us out the first weekend and then I was on a cruise for work last weekend.]

I'm excited. And it's supposed to be sunny and 60 today!

To add on top of it, it's been 3 weeks since I've seen my ladies. Can't wait to see them all again today!

Time to get off Facebook, take a shower and get to the diamond!

Back in the gym

2011-02-20T21:24:00.000-05:00

We're back in the gym now and it's good to see all the girls. Everybody's working hard and ready to start the season. I know I am, too!

I don't really have much to say tonight. I'm in a good mood :)

I updated our website and need to finalize the Summer schedule. That's about it for me this week. All the girls have high school try-outs this week (Good skill to all of them!) and we have one last practice in the gym next weekend. Then we're back outside, hopefully in the same nice weather we've been having lately!

Things are moving along now--summer will be here before we all know it...which is okay by me :-D

Welcome 2011...again

2011-02-07T19:22:00.000-05:00

Well, hello, 2011. You almost slipped right passed me...

While I sit here itching and scratching, unsure of why I seem to be allergic to a) shrimp, b) dairy and/or c) hot wings, I'm glad to say that the Super Bowl (of which I only watched half, but for which I am still eating leftovers) is finally over. Sorry Steelers fans. Congrats Packers fans? I don't know; I don't care about NFL and had to check the score on ESPN this morning.

What it REALLY means is that softball season is finally upon us. Many of my girls have been conditioning with their school teams and we finally started our indoor conditioning last Thursday. It was good to see the girls in the gym and great to get started again. I'm stoked and should be finalizing our schedule but am blogging and doing laundry instead.

I'm excited for this summer and really can't wait for all this cold weather to phase out. Bring it on, 2011!

The internet is forever.

2011-01-10T22:44:00.003-05:00

When I got into marketing -- specifically social media -- my boss always said, "the internet is forever."

"Well, no," I used to tell him, "it's not forever. Things can be erased/deleted/recalled/removed/whatever you want to call it."

"But," he would argue, "if someone's already seen it before you delete it, the damage is already done."

I had to agree with him on that point. So, yes, sometimes the internet is forever. Just like those words you said and wish with all your heart you could take back.

There are things I wish I hadn't done in my life. Things I wish I'd never said. Trust me, if I could take back all the times I secretly flicked off my parents or told them I hated them when I didn't get my way... (Wow, being a teenager really sucked, didn't it?)

We've all got a list of things we wish we could take back. If only real life -- I mean talking and acting in the real world -- was as easy as the internet. If only we could go back and press delete or recall or untag and be able to purport that there's no evidence to prove we did whatever we did wrong! Wouldn't life be so much easier? No, officer, I wasn't speeding. I wasn't even driving down that road. Look back...see? Nothing there. I never even left my house.

Recently, I'm ashamed to say, I fought fire with fire. Even I know that's rarely, if ever, a mature option. But when I found some unsavory, if not illicit, pictures of my girls on the world's largest social networking site, I was furious. I could've just texted the culprits. It would've been the end of it! Quietly and calmly; it would've been over. But, no. I put out a mass notice on the same social networking site, warning everyone to rid themselves (and the internet) of such evidence before the season officially started in February. I thought it would help displace the blame, so that everyone thought I was speaking to the general public and so that no one knew I was speaking to only a specific few; I hoped the select few to whom I was speaking would realize it and make things right. I figured it was like that time in college that some of my teammates were caught skipping class and we were all forced to run for hours as punishment. Hours, not minutes. Run, not jog. No exaggeration there. We all knew someone(s) skipped class, but we weren't told who and it didn't even matter because a team loses as a team.

Anyway, I had such good intentions with my mass post. I hoped girls would look back at their pictures and reassess them. I hoped parents would take interest in what their daughters were posting online. Was that so wrong?

I'm not exactly sure what happened...

I got a message from a father on my team asking if my notice was about his daughter. It wasn't and I reassured him of that. He's a good dad that does his due diligence online to make sure his daughter stays out of trouble. Not all my parents do that. Not all parents (good or bad) can do that. Let's be honest with ourselves: the internet is like a wildfire in California; if you don't live in California (which we don't) and don't watch the news, you may never know that it happens. Regardless, it reeks havoc on a lot of lives.

I'm not sure how it spread, really. I know that not all of my girls or parents "stalk" me online and some of them have so many "friends" online that my post would've just been buried in a seemingly endless feed of status updates. I imagine, though, that one of my more responsible girls saw the post and started looking around -- then started texting. I hope with all my heart that's not how it happened, though. I never wanted to pin one girl against another. I never wanted one teammate to harbor ill feelings towards another. But, knowing 16-year-old girls, this is how I imagine it happened. And I deeply, deeply, with all my heart, hope that parents aren't chatting between one another, saying, "Did you see what so-and-so's daughter posted online?"

I brought an incredible amount of unnecessary attention to a very, very sore subject. I really can't do anything about it right now while we're not in session, but I can't have those pictures sticking in the back of parents' or girls' minds. I can just hear it now, "But what about when [that one girl] posted those pictures online? You didn't do anything then..."

The pictures are almost gone; and I've been promised that the remaining few will be removed as soon as possible; I've also been promised that this will never happen again from those culprits. Still, I wish I could take back my public notice. I don't want all of my girls (and their parents) to feel like they're at fault. And I really, really don't want our team to become divided by a few girls' stupid decisions. But I can't take it back because two parents have already "liked" that notice. If I took it back now, it wouldn't matter. The damage is already done; everyone (or at least some people) already know that someone screwed up.

Sometimes, throughout the course of today, I wondered, "does it really hurt to scare a few innocent bystanders in the hopes of catching a few wrongdoers?" Let me reassure you, however, I'm not out to become MacArthur. And I'm certainly not open to the idea of opening fire on a crowd in hopes of hitting a criminal or two.

I was wrong. I screwed up. I apologize. But I do hope that everyone took (or takes) a second look at their online content and reassessed it. The internet is forever, after all. Be careful what you post, who you let post about you and who you let access it all.

Whoa. Off-Season. Questions?

2011-01-06T21:09:00.000-05:00

Sometime after Thanksgiving--the Sunday after Thanksgiving, to be exact--we finally broke for the dreaded "off-season." I know I said I'd still blog during it, but I find myself utterly confused as to where all the time went and how I spent it all. It's already 2011, people. Twenty-eleven.

Anyway, I've done some pondering tonight because I'm sick of thinking about work and I've come up with a few unanswerable questions. I need your help. (Or not. Because this blog has a total of 2 total comments. All time. 2. Not 2011. Just 2, Two.)

On with the list!

Why are Lean Cuisines so complicated? Seriously. If I wanted to spend 10 minutes waiting for food that tastes like "cardboard," and stir at some point, I'd just make ramen.
Why do I work all the time? I didn't work this much during the summer when we had tournaments and practice all the time. This is a bad sign...
What happened to bed-times? I told myself I'd sleep during the off-season. I've utterly abandoned that promise to myself. Another bad sign...
Who ate all the Christmas cookies? Please tell me it wasn't me.
Where is the gym? ...Rhetorical question. I know where it is. I just haven't "found" it lately.
Whose job is it to do laundry? I need a freakin' maid.
There's no money left in my bank account? Huh? Really? Really....?
Why does my cat love this toy so much? ...Okay, mine has fish on the end, but it's dang close.
Does this list really have to go to 10? Because I'm kind of running out of questions. I'm really a simple person.
Twilight! Who voted for that "cardboard" to win like 289,402 People's Choice Awards? (Needs no explanation or commentary.)

Thoughts welcomed. Answers preferred.

And, for now, that's all the blogging strength I can muster up. After all, I ate cardboard for dinner...

What is there to say?

2010-11-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

You know, I've been working on about six different blogs over the last few weeks. None of them just seemed to work, though...plus, work--that thing I get paid to do 5 days a week--is kicking my butt. So, here I am, sitting in a Thai restaurant at 3:15pm on a Sunday, listening to piano renditions of Gershwin and Rodgers & Hammerstein. And I won't really complain about that, but usually I'm out on the softball field around this time.

So, I'm going back through my book and looking at all of the games from this Fall. Here's what I see:

Those who stepped up, stepped up big.
Consistency became more of a playing factor.
Runs Allowed decreased.
Runs Scored increased.
Wins increased.

But that's all just kind of the stupid stuff. I mean, it's important. And we'll work film this Winter, if we can, to make sure that we get all the little things improved. But here's what I saw out of the book:

Girls smiling.
Girls trying.
Girls trusting.
Girls dissatisfied with anything less than 100% for 80min.
Girls standing behind and sticking up for the other girls they trusted.

I don't know what's all that surprising about this, but sometimes this is rare. When you don't get that team that is all softball-no-matter-what it's tough to find a team where you can balance softball with everything else.

You know, we walk away from this Fall season with only 9 girls, but I'm convinced that the other 2 or 3 "pieces," as we like to call them, will fall into place before the Summer. I know it because I know I've got a good group of girls that are all determined to become a good ball club.

So, despite all the game reviews I could do for this blog -- breaking down the good and bad games...finding out what went right and wrong -- I'm not going to. I'm going to just keep it to myself for now. I'm going to see how the girls fare through the rest of the Fall and help them push it during the off-season and then come back to it all in the Spring.

And, like I said, I'm still working on about 6 blogs. So I don't expect this blog to code while I'm "off." In fact, if there's anything you'd like me to write about...you know how to get to me.

The door is open, c'mon in.

2010-10-21T22:57:00.001-04:00

I won't lie: I've been avoiding this post a little. (Even moreso, I've been avoiding the posts I need to make to the team's website.) Last weekend just wasn't our weekend, with the exception of that last game on Sunday, during which the girls played 80 minutes of solid softball. That was the first game I could really walk away (after taking a really long, deep breath) and say, "either way, we FOUGHT for it from start to finish." It's not the best feeling in the world when you still walk away with an "L," but it's not, by any means, a bad feeling. Anyway, on we go with the post...

Seeing as it's already Thursday evening, I've had plenty of time since we ended on Sunday to stew over every strikeout, chew on every error, brood over every bad call, redesign every defense I put on the field, etc., etc., etc. And, trust me, I did my fair share of that over the last few days. Heck, I've been doing a lot of that over the last six months. It's no surprise that I'm my own worst critic. One thing I never let myself do, though, is let the criticism stay negative. Let's face it: no one wants to hear criticism, because it's rough and it hurts and a lot of times it's true (which makes it even rougher and more hurtful). On the other hand, criticism can be our best friend...sometimes...when it's delivered properly...when we can use it to learn from our mistakes and strengthen our weaknesses. Let's take a second to look at the meaning of--to criticize, if you will--"criticism":

Criticism

[krit-uh-siz-uhm]

–noun

the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.
the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding.
the act or art of analyzing and evaluating or judging the quality of a literary or artistic work, musical performance, art exhibit, dramatic production, etc.
a critical comment, article, or essay; critique.
any of various methods of studying texts or documents forthe purpose of dating or reconstructing them, evaluatingtheir authenticity, analyzing their content or style, etc.:historical criticism; literary criticism.
investigation of the text, origin, etc., of literary documents,esp. Biblical ones: textual criticism.

Let's go ahead and eliminate options 5 and 6, since--for once in my life--I'm not analyzing a text. (Oh, the life of an English major.) And, though my girls (and myself) can be pretty "dramatic" at times, we can also eliminate option 3. What's that leave us with? (And, please, no criticisms of the dangling preposition...)

Criticism: the act of passing judgment (sometimes severe) or finding fault in the merit of anything, sometimes through a comment, article or essay.

Now, what's so wrong with finding fault in something? If you're just out to hurt someone--what we can call "malicious criticism" here--then...well...A LOT. But if you're out to help someone--what many teachers, coaches, leaders and parents call "constructive criticism"--then NOTHING. The thing I love best about true constructive criticism is the advice that goes with it; I love hearing, "[some thing] is wrong, but if you do [some other thing] then you can make right." I love it even more when I get a reason for how that "[some thing]" is wrong, and a reason for why that "[some other thing]" is right. I love it MOST when you get instructions on how to do that "[some other thing]" right. For example...

Most young/inexperienced catchers will take 2-3 small steps between the time they catch the pitch and the time they throw the ball down to a base. (It's an old habit from all those years of coaches telling them to "set their feet" before they make a throw in the infield or outfield, but catching is nothing like playing infield or outfield.) Now, I could just tell them "that's wrong, take fewer steps." But what does that do for them? ("Nothing," is the appropriate response to my hypothetical question...should you still be reading this blog.) Instead, I explain--and most times SHOW--how much time they lose: If the runner has only 60 feet to run and she can leave when the pitch is released from the pitcher's hand, that runner already has a 5- or 6-step lead on the throwdown from the catcher. Especially if they're stealing second (a longer throw for the catcher), those 5 or 6 steps the runner already has can make a huge difference. Adding 2 or 3 steps between the time the ball leaves the pitcher's hand and the time the ball reaches second base just gives the runner 2 or 3 extra steps to reaching the base safely. Even if the catcher has a gun (like mine do), you never want to be in the habit of adding 2 or 3 steps to that runner's lead....What if the runner is particularly fast? What if the ball is in the dirt and you have to block it first? What if the pitch is a change-up or offspeed?

The key to catching and throwdowns is staying compact, keeping your body tight. Catch first, then use your glove to turn your whole body: bring the glove to your throwing-side ear (where it meets your throwing hand); by the time you place your front foot down, you should already be in your throwing motion; use your glove-side arm to pull your glove-side shoulder down as you release the ball. Re-read that. How many "steps" take place?

If you said, "one." You're right. It comes right after you bring your glove to your hear and right before you release the ball. Now that runner still only has the 5 or 6 steps on the catcher, which isn't that many in the long run...err, 60-foot run...when the catcher's got a rocket-launcher for an arm. <<Watch Ashley Holcombe, USA Catcher, demonstrate proper throwdown technique...if you don't believe me.>>

So, right there. That's a constructive criticism that I give to all my catchers--and you, my faithful blog ~~sufferer~~ reader. It's a wrong and a reason, followed up with a right, a reason and a how-to. I even added that super video (courtesy of Easton) to reinforce the how-to. Sounds easy to do, right? (The catching thing and the constructive criticism thing.) It's not...at least, not for everyone. It takes time and it takes practice. But I've got the time, if you've got the practice.

"Baaaaaah, where is this blog actually going," you wonder? "It surely can't all be about how critical Coach Stephanie/Steph/Derry" is of herself! I'm not even a catcher, what do I care about the right throwing techniques?!"

Well, I've faced my fair share of criticism in the last few weeks--both internal and external--just as we all will from time to time. The internal criticism is fine and dandy. I know how to turn my "we did [this] all wrong!s" and "what was I thinking?s" into "we're going to work on [this]es" and "next time, I'll do [that]s." I can deal with the internal criticism on my own, because it's in my control. The external criticism is a little different, though, because it's out of my control.

Everyone's a critic. We've all been criticized and judged at one point or another in our lives, and we've all criticized or judged someone else at one point or another in our lives. From what you're wearing to how you drive to how much time you spend on Facebook at work to even the way you run your softball team, everyone's got a differing opinion. And that's fine. Everyone's entitled to their opinions. In fact, I openly welcome opinions; I call it my Open Door Policy, and it extends to players and parents (and blog readers!), alike. I prefer that the opinions are delivered as constructive criticism and I will certainly warn you that if you deliver criticism to me (constructive or not), you better be prepared to discuss it. Especially when it comes to my life, my blog and my team, I'm the head honcho. In the end, what I say goes...and don't for one second think I don't put a great deal of thought into what I "say" before it "goes." But I'm willing to hear your side of the story; maybe I can learn something from you, just like I hope to teach you something.

I don't know who you are. I could certainly take a guess based on what Google Analytics tells me--your IP address, your internet provider, the time of your visit, your location, how you found the blog, etc.--but I won't bother. So, if you've got constructive criticism for me, by god share it! Maybe (just maybe) you don't like how many parentheses I use. Maybe you don't like the fact that I posted this blog. Or maybe you don't like my theories on softball and coaching. Either way, you can comment here, you can email email me and you can even DM me on Twitter. All I ask is that you be open to hear all sides of the story...because, after all, EVERYONE's a critic and EVERYONE's got an opinion. :)

In the meantime, you can bet your bottom dollar that I've turned all my criticisms into learning experiences...and drills.

The first gameday?

2010-10-16T11:56:00.000-04:00

This could be the first time I post something on gameday. I guess you can chalk it off to the fact that we've never had a 4:30pm start-time before. Yes, 4:30pm. Start-time. 4:30pm.

What the heck am I supposed to do with my Saturday until then? It's like a sick tease. Here, have some Saturday...and then go work. Yay! At least I got to sleep in -- does 7:45am count as "sleeping in?"

Two games today and I think we're ready. I know we're all hyped. Bring it on!

Ok, Time for Plan B?

2010-10-14T21:45:00.000-04:00

Well, it's Thursday evening so I've had plenty of time to "process" our weekend. Here's what I came up with:

Hitting was better than ever.
Fielding was pretty strong, though we lacked (again) on some of the routine plays.
Out of about 20 innings, we played 17 spectacularly.
Out of the 3 innings we didn't play spectacularly, 2 cost us 2 losses (1 each).
Attitude is amazing when it's on.
Attitude is amazing when my attitude is on.
My attitude is on when the girls' attitude is on.
"I'm getting better at fighting the future. (Some day you'll be fine.) Yes, I'll be just fine." << Click after you read the post.

You know...I don't know what else to say here. I could have made defensive changes that may have saved our games, but it's hard to make defensive changes in the middle of the inning. And, either way, we really lost the games on the little stuff like past balls, missed grounders, overthrow, blooper-hits that weren't fielded properly, etc.

One thing I did hear a lot of this weekend was: "what's the score?" I've got my different theories on this, too. First, I feel like the players deserve to know what they're up against -- and sometimes it can bolster them into giving more to fight back. But, on the other hand, I wonder, "what's it matter?" If the score's a lot to a little, they're likely to give up. If the scores a little to a little less, will they give up or get comfortable? Knowing my girls...well, knowing my girls, I think it's best to keep the score from them. I think that's what I'll do this weekend.

I know that this weekend will be tough. The competition seems like it will be more consistently solid this weekend. Last weekend, I think we faced some decent competition then went on to face a really tough competitor right after. That's a tough transition to make for the girls. Oddly enough, we started off all of our games very strong. It was like we just got too tired/downhearted to continue on during those tougher games -- which happened to be games #3 on Saturday and #2 on Sunday. I'd like to say I really understood it, but I don't.

And, you know what? I just got a crazy idea to play a 4-man outfield with 3 girls. Hmmm...it's just crazy enough to work against the stronger offensive teams, and surely crazy enough to signal that it's time for bed.

One more day and then we take the field again. :)

It was good -- is that good enough for now?

2010-10-10T20:49:00.000-04:00

My heart really wants me to blog about this weekend's tournament but my head keeps saying, "Wait. Process it first."

It was a whirlwind, that's for sure -- with ups and downs, highs and lows. I do need some more time to process it, before I can really find the words to say about it. I'll get around to that this week.

So, for now I'll just say that it was good. Great at times. Bad at times. And, in the end, it evened out to a straight "good." That has to be good enough for now. :-D

Here we go again :)

2010-10-08T21:51:00.000-04:00

Seriously. I would like to know where October came from. Last time I checked, it was mid-May and I was preparing for my first tournament as a head coach. Bah!

Anyway. We're at a really good place right now. I'm not as nervous to post this entry -- at least, not as much as I was last time -- but I am anxious to see how my girls play this weekend. We've had a few really great practices under our belts since our last tournament, and everybody's feeling good.

We've got one girl on the injury list, but we've got 2 guest players helping us out this weekend. So, here I am on a Friday night, trying to figure out my plan for tomorrow. Good thing we don't play until noon tomorrow...

You have to admit that travel softball is different than any other sport. Not only do we play more than one/two games in a day, there are specific girls who can't play the same position for all those games. For example, I can't expect my catcher to catch all three games (plus play the 2+ games on Sunday); I can't ask my pitcher to pitch all three Saturday games, then come out and perform at the same level on Sunday.

Luckily, I've got a versatile group of girls. Many of them play more than two positions. In any other sport you'd worry about these girls becoming "jacks of all trades and masters of none" but that's not the way it goes in travel softball -- if you can't make yourself reliable in more than at least one position, you're liable to find yourself on the bench. A lot of my girls have made themselves reliable in more than one position. It's nice.

So with my line-ups penciled out now, I think I'll make my way to bed and sleep easy. Tomorrow (like any other day on the field) will be a big day for us, and I'm hopeful that we'll play our best and come out on top.

This is commitment, as explained by Kit-the-Kat and other Kittehs

2010-09-30T23:40:00.000-04:00

Let me first warn you that this post contains an inappropriate amount of cat pictures that have very little to do with softball, but may or may not bring a smile (even an LOL) to your face. Some were taken from the interwebs via Google Image...others are actual snapshots I've taken. You can decide which are which.

Kitteh sez, "fwendz dont wet fwendz pway bessball."

Moving on..
At some point in all of our lives, we've agreed to a commitment. Whether it's to a partner, a job, our education, a team or anything else, commitment always works the same. Commitment, by definition, is "a pledge or promise" or an "obligation." And it's nice when that thing to which we're committed (hopefully not a psychiatric hospital...haha...see the pun?) stays fresh by offering variety; but there's also a settling comfort in knowing that thing to which we're committed is reliable and unchanging. But what happens when things stay unchanging? What happens when you loose that freshness? What happens when that "pledge or promise" becomes more of an "obligation?"

Kit in bath tub says, "Where's my water?!"

Let's take, for example, my cat. Her name is Kit (AKA Kit-the-Kat, Muffintop, Fatty McScreamsalot, Snuggle-Wuggle-Was-A-Cat and HOLY[EXPLETIVE]DONTEATMYSWEATER); and, believe it or not, all of my cats have been named after characters in books/movies I was reading/watching at the time...so, no, Kit is not an unoriginal name for a cat, thank you very much! ANYWAY. I am committed to Kit. I may not always come home straight from work to her, and softball (among other things like friends who live out of town, college football and well deserved vacations) pull me away from her for weekends or sometimes weeks at a time. But when I get home -- no matter how long I've been away -- I know that Kit will be waiting by the door for me...or, at least, near enough to ambush me as soon as I get in the door. Most nights, she'll scream at me for a good half-hour until I give her wet food (spoiled fatty brat!) and then she'll lay down on the floor as I work on my computer, read or watch TV; and when I'm ready to go to wash up for bed, she'll sit in my bath tub and wait for water (spoiled thirsty brat!); and when I'm ready to go to bed, she'll come lay with me for ten minutes or so before she assumes her position on the "passenger side" of the bed. I love Kit for this. She's so reliable! I always know what she needs and what she will do. It makes my commitment to her (i.e., to provide her with food and water and affection) so easy.

Kit assumes that all birthday presents are for her.

But, then, the other night, I woke up around 4am. When I had finally tossed and turned into a somewhat comfortable position in which I could fall back asleep, Kit came crawling over me and snuggled up beside me. What a pleasant surprise from my little spoon! Or, as I type this, she is investigating something she deems as strange in my purse...it may be the money I actually have in my wallet right now. Anyway, the point is that this variety and deviation from the norm keeps things bearable for me. Otherwise, I fall into a shadow-like state of being, always doing things because that's just "how it goes." That's when, I think -- when we lose touch with our real selves -- we start to forget why we were even committed in the first place.

Sometimes, I admit, I forget why I have a commitment to Kit...other than the reasons like "she would probably drown to death, trying to drink the water from the toilet bowl" and "she would probably wander around hopelessly and end up sticking her tongue in an outlet just to garner some sort of attention." Every day, I always do the same things for her and almost every day she responds in the same manner. It's easy to lose sight of the wonderful reasons why I have Kit...reasons like "companionship," "someone to talk to besides the frozen chicken that's been in my freezer since early 2009" and "the cutest, fattest and fluffiest damn paperweight ever known to man." So, when I start to fall in my shadow-like state of being, I'm putting out food and water because it's an obligation I have to her rather than a contribution I make because I want Kit to be happy and healthy. Poor cat...

Now, back to softball: Committing to a team, through its ups and its downs, can be difficult. And, when the downs become the norm, it can be very easy to start doubting, and even regretting, the commitment you made. I've been there before in my softball career; I know what it feels like to just show up because it's an obligation you made to the however-many girls and coaches on the team. But softball -- the kind of softball we play -- is more than just the however-many girls and coaches on the team or the however-many tournaments and games we play. What I think we all need to remember is that ups and downs are NOT calculated by simply looking at the win-loss column. The ups are the weekends and week nights we spend together, the down-time in between games when we just hang out and laugh, the emotional and physical growth we're all experiencing by working as a team, learning to live with others and giving this everything we've got.

So, I've got to hand it to my girls. They've done a great job holding up their end of the bargain in our commitment. I know it's tough and we've all had our fleeting moments of doubt and regret, but I'm thankful that I've got a committed group of girls. Girls who stand beside me and one another. Girls who continue to give it their all even when the cards are stacked against them. Girls who are working towards improving their communication and general inter-personal skills. What more could I ask for? Their commitment and determination is what keeps me committed and determined. And that commitment and determination could bring a smile to my face even if I was halfway sunk in quicksand...because as my lower half descended into the quicksand's tight grip, I know they would all point and laugh at how silly Coach Steph is...and then someone would be like "Oh, [expletive]! We should probably help her." And let me tell you how much commitment and determination you need to pull someone out of quicksand after they're already halfway under.

I hope that we can keep up our commitment and determination. Well, I know that we can, but it's up the girls to really do so.

Oh gnomes, kitteh!

Halp Wanted: Dogs need not apply.

*Special thanks for this post go to the ICanHasCheezburger movement of grossly misspelled words and funny, sometimes photoshopped, pictures of cats.

*P.S. You're welcome and now I'm going to bed because it's way past my bedtime (again).

Is that wood? Knock on it.

2010-09-16T17:53:00.000-04:00

I hate this feeling. This feeling that I know we're going to play well, but I'm still scared "you-know-what"less. We had two great practices this week, on Sunday and Wednesday, so I'm definitely riding the high from that. But I'm not stupid, either. I've been knocking on anything I've encountered that even looks like wood all week long.

I'm really so afraid to jinx us, that I'm afraid to press PUBLISH on this post.
...Should I? I want everyone to know that we're playing well and feeling great!
...Should I not? I DON'T WANT TO JINX US! (Sorry for the all-caps.)

I will. We're playing great, feeling great and pumped for our first fall tournament this weekend. Knock on some wood for us. I'm not asking for a trophy, just a solid performance from the girls...just like the ones they've been giving all week. :-D

I am a Moose. Or, at least, I'd like to be.

2010-09-10T22:01:00.000-04:00

According to many different spiritual groups, like Pagans and polytheistic religions, humans have a very strong connection to animals on an individual basis. It's often said that persons of these faiths have spiritual animals that guide them through life, by teaching them lessons and helping them find their way. And, according to WikiHow (the incredibly credible source for all how-to knowledge, of course...*sarcasm*), the many theories on spiritual animals are varied, most specifically as to how long the animal stays with a person. Some say they stay with the person for life; others say they come and go in the person's life, passing on their knowledge, strength and power until the person is ready to live without them. I'd like to believe the second theory; the point of life is to grow, after all, so it only makes sense that you will need different spiritual animals as you continue to progress mentally, physically and emotionally through your life.

Every animal has it special "power." Ants, for example, are very accepting of their place. They work seemlessly in large groups (or "teams") and do their job without questioning or defying authority. Most importantly, they work for a greater cause, rather than themselves; they work for the good of the team. I like ants for this reason. Whether or not they consciously recognize their place and position in their society, they continue forward as productive members of the team. Plus...we all know ants can lift like 150x their body weight! (Syke, I think it's just 20x or something, which is still astounding!)

I also like the Moose. Of all the spiritual animals, I think I need the Moose to guide me right now. According to the Manataka American Indian Council, the Moose "is a symbol of courage and determination. Those who know the moose spirit proudly walk with grace and have universal knowledge. The power of their presence is awesome and inspiring." As a coach (go figure I'd talk about coaching on my blog...), I really like this idea. I'd like to think that I held universal knowledge and was both awesome and inspiring.

I think I've found it off the field. Well, okay...maybe not the "universal knowledge" part. I'm still absolutely confounded with some of the problems the girls ask me for advice on. Thankfully, they usually text me about these problems, so they can't see me sitting there with my mouth agape thinking, "Holy [censored], what the [censored] am I supposed to say to that?!" But, over the 9 or so months that I've actually spent with them -- taking the time to listen to them and learn them -- I think I've got that "awesome" and "inspiring" thing down pat. (By the way, can we take a minute to talk about how modest I am?) Anyway...I know I'm still searching for that on the field...that "moose" thing. I know it takes time; I certainly don't expect miracles in a day (or a year for that matter). I'm just ready for the day that I can really lead on the field and get results.

Now, don't get me wrong! My girls have made INCREDIBLE progress over the last year. (I'll say that over and over again until you believe it, because it's sooooooo true.) It's amazing to think of what we started with last January and what we have now in September. It's exciting. I'm just lost, sometimes, as to how to really inspire the girls.

A couple weeks ago (when I started this blog, LOL), we played a little "mental" game before we scrimmaged the other team in our organization: I brought those "pills" that you drop in water and they transform into sponge animals. As the pills transformed into their respective animals, we talked about finding our own spiritual animals...the things/advice/knowledge/skills that we need to find deep within ourselves to succeed. Our biggest problem, still, is digging down deep to find the "strength" we need to win (...and I don't mean just pulling out a W in the game). We went on to lose that scrimmage pretty bad. We made silly errors and couldn't hit; the girls hung their heads afterwards. I explained to them again why we did the exercise with the animals again in our post-scrimmage talk, but I have a feeling it's still not settling in.

One time, I took the time to write everyone on the team a card before a big tournament. I pulled out inspirational quotes that fit each girl and encouraged them to play their best, then gave everyone their cards before we warmed up for our first game on Saturday. It didn't work. We lost three games that day. We went on to win one and lose one really close game on Sunday...because Sunday is different. I just wish they could play like it was Sunday everyday. Anyway, I digress: we were at practice a few weeks ago and one of the girls was like "Hey, look what I found in my bag, Coach!" and showed me the card. I went home that night feeling proud that she kept it, then thought back to all the random crap I found in my bat bag after every season. Socks, hair ties, old gum, bandannas...I even once found a book that belonged to my school!

So, needless to say, sometimes I wonder if all I'm doing is giving my girls "useless crap" that they'll just clean out of their "bag" one day. (Yes, "bag" is a metaphor for life.) I wonder if anything I say or do or give them is settling in. This is when I need the moose most of all: because I know I have to keep trying; because I want to keep trying; because the girls need me to keep trying. I just need someone/thing to help me find the courage and determination to do so...to really believe that one of these little games we play, one little things I say, or one of the little things I do will really make a difference.

My other coaches, and many of my parents, are very supportive and I don't know what I'd do without their support and encouragement. But this is something I've got to find within myself, so that I can win. Because when I win, the girls win.

OMG! A New Post! A New Season! OMG!

2010-08-22T19:22:00.002-04:00

Sorry for all the OMGs in the title...I was going for dramtic effect, you know. Anway, on with the new post!

Wowzers. I know I've said this before, but sometimes all I can really say is wow. It's hard to believe 11 weeks of summer could roll by so quickly. And even harder to believe that it's been about a year since I joined the organization. Where did all the time go? Here I am, a year later, trying to remember the best from all the games. Heck, I can't name all the teams we played...or even all the parks! It was a great year, I know. We had a blast, played our best and got to play on some really nice fields. Of course, we didn't always have fun, we played our worst sometimes and had the pleasure of playing on some really crappy fields, too. Oh well -- you win some, you lose some. :)

Seriously, though. I look back at the progress of the girls over the year and am astounded. I mean, we can play a small-ball game now. Some of the girls are switch hitters now. Some of the girls even learned new positions (and pitches). And, hey, everybody likes me now. (Or...likes me well enough to respect me. LOL). But let's face it, this is my one place to be egocentric--this blog is about ME, not the girls--so I figured I'd run through 2 top 10 lists from 2010: first, Top 10 Things I Learned from My Girls and, second, Top 10 Things I Learned My First Year as a Coach. Enjoy :)

Top 10 Things I Learned from My Girls
10. I have more nicknames than Jesus.
9. The complaint was just for "noise."
8. My "mamma" is so [many different things] and no one's heard of the circus fire.
7. Never tell stories about the backseat of your car.
6. "I don't know" and "I don't care" really mean "I do know/care, I'm just afraid to say it."
5. Wear a belt...and always wear your safety harness.
4. There's a dance for everything.
3. It's impossible to put together a playlist of songs without curse words.
2. Everybody needs a hug sometimes and kisses do make boo-boos feel better.
1. Teenagers are hard to impress, but if you keep trying and being yourself and you can earn their respect.

Top 10 Things I Learned My First Year as a Coach
10. Stand your ground and believe that you're right, even when someone (like an umpire) says your wrong.
9. Playing a tournament with 9 girls is physically tough, but having 3 on the bench can be emotionally rough.
8. The lifetime of one pair of socks is one season.
7. Assistant coaches are good for much more than just "assisting."
6. Unlimited text messaging is absolutely necessary.
5. Sunday afternoon naps are awful. (Trust me, you don't want one.)
4. 'Tudes don't belong on the field.
3. Make your line-ups at least 30 minutes prior to the game's start time.
2. Parents will always talk. Listen, but don't.
1. Set a good example: the girls hear everything you say and see everything you do. If you're lucky, they look up to you, so what you do and say matter.

Of course, I learned a lot more from my girls and as a head coach over the last year. And I really do hope that the girls have learned a lot from me over the last year...after all, that's what really matters. It's a strange balance between everything being about me (so that I can help the girls be everything they can be) and everything being about the girls (because they're why I'm here in the first place). So here's to 2010-2011, learning from our mistakes, and being the best we can be.

When I find the time again...

2010-08-07T01:08:00.000-04:00

I know I need to post, again. I know I've been avoiding it. Between vacation, the World Series in Tennessee, going back to work and try-outs, though...well, I'm just spent. :)

I'll give you some bullet points though:

Vacation was good and certainly not long enough.
World Series had its ups and downs as we knew it would. It was a great experience, though.
Going back to work was really hard. (Can't I just do softball as a career?)
Try-outs had their ups and downs as we knew they would. Good experience, though, and I'm looking forward to this year...which starts THIS WEEK. Dangitdangitdangitdangitdangit.

So, yeah. Between now and practices starting back up, I have two major goals: get a good blog entry in and get a serious amount of sleep. :-D

What if it ain't broke, but it ain't fixed either?

2010-07-17T20:47:00.000-04:00

I don't know. Sometimes, I just don't. Sometimes, I'm okay with that. Tonight is not one of those nights.

I'll be damned if that last post wasn't just a crystal ball prediction of how we played last weekend. We played smart, we made double plays and checked for runners and kept our heads straight. Sure the 'tudes came and went; and, yes, we struggled with the bats at times. But we played well for the most part; it was a huge confidence builder for us all.

This week? A totally different story. Practices were sketch. Real sketch. Lack of focus, lack of drive, lack of effort, lack of energy... Needless to say there was a lack of "play making" on Tuesday and Thursday. But I shrugged it off. I said to myself, "The girls are tired. We've played a long season so far. We just need to get through the week so we can get back into the games this weekend and they'll show up then."

Wrong! This morning was particularly rough. Zero--count them, ZERO--of the girls gave everything they had. And, of course, the few that gave the most made silly mistakes. Wow, you know? That's all I can think: Wow...

The second game was a little better, and the third game a little better than that. The competition also got a little easier as progressed through the day.

Anyway, we go into tomorrow morning straight off a big win. It was our first "3rd game of the day win" ever. EVER. So I'm happy about that. Only problem is that we face our own 14U team (who are playing up in the 16U brackets this weekend) tomorrow morning.

So, I don't know! Scratch that: I know too much! I spent all fall and winter with the 14s. I taught their catchers. I've spent any free time I had with that team this spring/summer. I've tracked their pitchers' pitches. I know their hitting signals. I know their pitching signals. I know their strengths and their weaknesses. I know the opportunities and threats we'll offer them. So, right now, I just don't know what to do...besides bring the A game and be happy that it's not an elimination game (the winner will stay in the Gold bracket, the loser will just fall to the Silver bracket...after that, it's single elimination for both teams).

I think what I'll tell myself and the girls is: Make the plays. And if they make an even better play, at least you can be happy for them.

Wish us (both the 16s and the 14s) luck!

Don't break what ain't fixed.

2010-07-09T00:00:00.001-04:00

I'll be honest, I haven't posted in the last week because I was waiting for a good day. I feel like a lot of my posts lately have been a little too "realistic" (I won't say negative), so I was waiting for a really good day to bring back the positive.

Today was a long day. Hell, this whole season's been one long day it seems. Practice tonight was good, though. Not amazing, not even great; it was good; more importantly, it was solid. I can't ask for the impossible out of my girls and I know that. Whether or not I can ask them for 100% is still unclear to me, but tonight they gave a lot. And something -- I don't know what -- seemed to be working. Something seemed to click; they made plays they hadn't been making, they looked for runners when they usually forgot, they turned close double plays when they hadn't been able/thought to in the past. Whew. That's all I can think now: a sigh of relief.

Of course, we missed a few plays, didn't hit as well as I know we could've and the attitudes weren't perfect. But we're all flawed, right? That's alright. I'd take "giving it your all" and losing over "giving half, if even" and winning any day.

Anyway, we play in Richmond this weekend and I really want us to come out -- and STAY -- strong. Maybe it helped that we had all the girls (plus an extra we picked up for the last three tournaments) there tonight. Who knows; maybe the universe of "team dynamics" has been set straight again. I don't know! But I like it. It was a good practice, and I hope it means it'll be a good tournament.

Love the Business if it Spreads the "Music"

2010-07-02T14:20:00.000-04:00

Music has always been an integral part of my life. It's always playing around me, and I'm always searching for that something "new" to keep me feeling alive. So, when I saw that the founder of Pandora Radio, Tim Westergren, took an interview on the Charlie Rose Show last night, I just had to watch. (You can click on the Charlie Rose Show link in the previous sentence to see the video.) As you may well know, Pandora is making huge leaps in the US music, radio and technology industries. It brings new and old music together based on a "music genome project" that classifies songs and artists by genre, sound, style and much more; it provides listeners with a stream of music based on what they want to hear, and allows the users to customize their radio "stations" to continually hear what they want, as well as discover new music/songs/artists.

During the fairly casual, 20-minute discussion, Charlie asked Tim an interesting question: "Do you love music or do you love business?" It seems like the expected response would be, as Tim first responded, "I love music." But he continued on to explain that "what makes [his] job so wonderful...is that [he's] getting to run a business that...is having a big impact, through music, on people. And...[he] can't imagine something more fulfilling."

It was the perfect answer, if you ask me. I mean, we all love something but that love isn't what will fulfill our lives. It's doing something through, or with, that love that makes it wonderful: life's about sharing the passion.

So, if you ask me: Do you love softball or do you love coaching? I love softball, hands-down. But I enjoy coaching so much because it enables me to share a passion (and some life lessons) through softball.

For my 25th birthday, I got a tattoo: "Ut Prosim." As people have noticed it, I've received a variety of different questions/responses, my favorite of which are:

*Squinted eyes, as if trying to decipher gobbledygook* "What's that mean?";
*Pensive look* "What's it mean?";
*Rolls eyes* "That's a Tech thing, right?";
*Steps back in shock* "So--what?--you're enlisting in the Army or something?"; and my absolute favorite
*Raised eyebrow* "Ummmm, okay? I mean, are you still happy you got [the tattoo]?"

Ut Prosim is Latin for "that I may serve." Yes, it's Virginia Tech's motto; no, that's not why I got it. I guess, all my life I've been a "sharer," a "giver," a "listener," a "teacher." I've always been there for, and to help, others. There's very little that I do for ME; often times, in fact, I get lost in helping others that I don't realize I need help, too. Even my tattoo is ironically evident of this: it's was a gift to myself, but the premise is all about giving myself to others.

I've heard a lot of chitter chatter lately about me, the girls on my team, the other coaches, the organization and more. I won't say what's being said (mostly because I've only heard snippets), but I know it was just straight gossip. Unfortunately, gossip is a strange thing to behold and an even harder thing to control; like a forest fire, it can renew the land but, when it gets that dreaded draft of wind, there's no stopping it.

No matter what anyone says, this is what I do. I give. And I will continue to give and give and give, until I've got nothing left to give. As long as I'm breathing, though, I'll have something to give. It's something I want to instill in my friends and the girls I coach; I want to give them all I have so that they have something to give in return. Then, when my last breath's exhaled, I hope there's still something of me that I gave being passed on to others through love (even if it's not softball).

When Wants "Eclipse" Sanity

2010-06-30T23:53:00.000-04:00

No one's sane. I know that. Does it mean we're all insane? I don't think so. I just know that no one is actually ever in their "right mind." We're all just a little crazy because there's always something we want to do and it never seems to be what's "right." Why? Who the heck knows... Anyway, "want" clouds your judgement; passion overrides reason. Therefore, if we want something, we cannot be sane.

Let's try it this way: "The law," as we learned from Aristotle, "is reason free from passion." (The real quote from Politics, of course, is more often translated as: "The law is reason unaffected by desire." But the common idiom works well enough.) So, now we start deducing:

We know that the law is reason, according to Aristotle.
Sanity is defined as "soundness of judgment."
"Soundess of judgement" can be otherwise called rationality or reason.
If sanity is reason, then the law is sanity free of passion.

Dang -- okay, so my philosophy classes didn't pay off so well. (Sorry, Mom and Dad!) The point I was trying to make is that sanity is free of passion, so now the English major in me is taking over: Find a law or lawmaker that you think is free of passion and prove me wrong...I dare you. (How's that for an argument? Haha!)

Really, we're all a little crazy. We all want things that we know aren't good, or aren't right, for us. Like tonight, we took 18 of the 14U and 16U girls out to see Twilight's Eclipse. Why? Well, me and my co-head coach wanted to see it, the girls wanted to see it...so, we figured, why not make it a fun girls' night?

Wrong! I spent half the movie sitting in the aisle to keep the 16s quiet. The 16s! The 14s behaved well enough -- at least, when they talked it was in hushed whispers -- and, really, they just couldn't stop texting long enough to sit through a 2-hour movie. But my 16s... Dear god, the mouths wouldn't stop. And those mouths are BIG. I don't know how many times I said to them, "Do I need to take you out for a minute?" I've never given so many hateful looks in my life! And, honestly, who has to threaten a 16-year-old with time-out -- in a public setting?!

It even got to a point where, (**SPOILER ALERT!**) after Bella finally kissed Jacob, one of my 16s turned to me and said, "Okay, that's all I wanted to see, you can take me out now." What nerve, right?!

Now, putting all my angst aside, I'm just disappointed that my girls couldn't behave better in a movie theatre full of people who paid a whole lot of money to see a movie on opening night. (I mean, I don't know about you, but $10 is a lot of money to me!) Honestly, though, I should've known better. I know my girls. I know that this is how they act. Why did I think that they could behave for 2 hours in a dark room when I can't get them shut up and focus for an hour and 15 minutes on the softball field? ...I think the answer is: because I wanted them to. And I wanted to believe they could.

In the end, it's not about the movie. I want a lot from those girls. And I want to believe that they can do so much. But these wants keep getting in the way of my (better) reason. Is it so bad for me to want that they give 100% at practices and during games? Is that so wrong? (I don't think so.) Maybe it is because they can't. Is it wrong for me to want the girls to do something they can't? I don't know. I'd like to see them at least try; to, at least, care enough and give 99.99% when that last 0.01% just isn't attainable. Is that crazy-talk? Sure it is. I know that! But is it the sort of crazy-talk that makes me a good coach? Or a bad one?

I don't know. I just don't anymore. I've still got that big decision to make this week. And tonight's showing at the movie theatre didn't help at all. In fact, it added on more things to consider and more decisions to make. Last night's practice went alright, though. The big rule of the night was "no speaking unless spoken to by a coach, or unless you're communicating a play on the field." They did pretty well with that, oddly enough. But all the girls know what's up; they know the decision I have to make. They know that their performance and attitude right now is on the line...for things much bigger than winning and losing a game.

I'll be honest, though, they know about the decision I have to make this week. What they don't know is that there's an even bigger decision I've been prompted to consider between now and August; and they shouldn't know because it would hurt them so much to even think that I have to think about these sort of things, but sometimes I wish they did know. I wonder if they'd try harder or just give up. I wonder if they'd push to find that 99.99% even when they knew that they just can't get that last 0.01%. Like I said in my last post: I wish I could say more, but I just can't.

I know I'm crazy. I know it's 10 til midnight and I'm writing this stupid blog that only 9 people read...well, more like 7 or 8, discounting the hits I get from myself. Crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy. So it goes.

Time flies when you're...???

2010-06-27T18:57:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't posted in 11 days. I apologize for that. I'm just not sure where the time has gone. Needless to say, it's time for a serious recap.

We played in Williamsburg last weekend for the NSA States. Went 0-3 on Saturday. I wish I could say what happened, but I can't. We blew major leads in every game, too; I just have no idea why. On Sunday we got a very lucky break (the fact that we played, to be honest, was lucky) and went 2-3. It was the best I've seen the girls play all season. They played consistently, to win, every inning of every game. In the end, we tied for 5th place and it was not only a major achievement for us, but a MAJOR pick-me-up for us all. Plus, compared to our past records, 2-4 is not bad for us in a tournament. But don't get me wrong, we should've won every single game.

This weekend, it was the same old stuff...but different, somehow. We went 1-2 on Saturday; won the first game and lost the other two. And we lost the last game BIG TIME. Today, we came out to win and did...during the first game. We did win that first game. Then we had a game break and lost the second game BIG TIME. Like MAJOR TIME. (Notice "major" is in all caps, bolded and underlined.) So, in the end we went 2-3. And, honestly, we should've won all five games.

I think of it as progress, though--when you compare it to Petersburg, when we went 0-5. It's hard to believe that was almost a month ago. Where does the time go?? I wish I could tell you, but I just can't. I can say, however, that I've learned more about 16-year-old girls in this past month than I did my whole year being a 16-year-old girl. :) And maybe it wasn't easy, but it was good.

To be honest, I've come such a long way since we played that first tournament in Charlottesville in May. I think about it now and am like, "Well, that wasn't so long ago." But the progress I've made as a coach and my team's coach has been incredible. I'm proud of myself. From the way I approach the game, create line-ups and field positions to the way I approach the umpires and hold my own. I've had two saving graces this summer (my co-head coach and the 14s coach), and I know I only need a little more time until I can do it all on my own. Knowing that--versus just thinking it and hoping it--is a major achievement for me. I know I couldn't have done it without their support, though, and I'm forever grateful. I know I'm still young, though...

I turned 25 this past week. In this past week alone, I've dealt with way more things than any 25-year-old should deal with. Or, at least, that's what everyone keeps telling me. But I think of it this way: I made a commitment to this team and that means I deal with the good, bad and ugly. And, let me tell you, I've seen it all at this point. I've seen the good go to bad, and vice versa; I've seen the good go to ugly, and vice versa; I've seen the bad go to ugly, and vice versa; hell, I've seen the good go to "WTF," and vice versa. I've even seen the good stay good, the bad stay bad and the ugly stay real ugly. I wish I was only talking about what happens on the field, too; I'm not.

Anyway, we have two tournaments left in the season plus World Series. I have to start thinking about next year, which sounds stupid but is true. I've got a whole lot more to think about--even beyond my farmer's tan--but that's part of the game. Looking back and learning: The one thing I never realized coaching would be is so much THINKING. I mean, I always thought a lot and I always will. Even as a player, I was always thinking. This time around, as a coach, I have to think beyond the next game and even the next tournament. I wish I could say more here but until I make my mind up, I know I have to keep it with me.

So here's to hoping that the next two weeks race by and that the next two tournaments creep so that we can live it up.

Freud would have a field day with my dreams

2010-06-16T23:18:00.000-04:00

I'll be the first to admit that this week is not my week. So it goes... But I did wake up this morning to a string of strangely peaceful dreams. The first was of my girls huddled around first base about to do their pre-game cheer as I walked up to the plate to meet the umpires and the opposing team's coaches. Then my alarm went off. Then I was walking up to my girls to do a little pre-game prayer. Then my alarm went off and I realized I was running late for work.

I'm not sure what it all means. I mean, it wasn't necessarily happy. And it's not like the dreams are foreshadowing anything I didn't already foresee. We've landed an 8am game on Saturday morning in Williamsburg (for NSA States) so, yes, we'll do a little pre-game cheer and, yes, we'll do a little pre-game prayer. (By the by, my views on team prayers and sanctioned religious acts are completely separate from the fact that the girls seem to appreciate that we do team prayers. It's all about the girls, anyway.)

So, what does it really mean? Hell if I know...

Anyway, we had a pretty productive practice last night at the batting cages. My other co-head coach pulled girls aside one-by-one to discuss some of the more personal issues we've got going on with the team while I helped girls hit in the cages. It was no major victory for any of the girls, the coaches or the team as a whole, but it was a slew of small victories. And the small victories add up to big ones in the end.

We've got one more practice before our big return to the tournament cycle this weekend. We'll only have 9 girls on Saturday and I'm crossing my fingers for the 10th girl on Sunday; but I'm not holding my breath. What stinks is that we're gauranteed at least 3, if not 4, games on Saturday. The funniest part about it is: if we win, win and win, then we play a 4th game but if we lose one of the games we only play 3...and, god forbid, if we lose two of the games, we go home. Seems a little odd, doesn it? Oh well, I'm hoping for 4 solid games anyway. :-D

So, when we win all 4 games on Saturday... Let's just leave it at that.

Tomorrow's going to be a good day, no matter what. I've already decided that. I'm not going to let this crappy week or anything else get in the way of a really great practice. It's what the girls need before they take the field again for a game. But...when I think about all the crappy practices we've been having lately, I'm starting to wonder: Should I hope for a bad practice? They always say a bad dress rehearsal means a great opening night. But who am I kidding? This is softball, not theatre. And we've got enough drama already...we don't need any more.

Cheers to a really great day tomorrow. And here's to hoping I have a few more peaceful dreams tonight.

13 More Minutes

2010-06-13T11:00:00.000-04:00

Well, it seems as if it's been a while since my last post! Apologies for that. Between practices, tournaments, the Women's College World Series and...oh yeah, that thing they call work...I just haven't had time to breathe, let alone blog. Trust me, my referigerator is empty, I have no toilet paper at the house, and the dirty laundry stacks higher than I am tall.

Whereas I kept telling myself that this weekend would be different, that I'd get my life in order, it seems I underestimated my obsession with softball. My 16s have the weekend off, but our 14s played in Sterling. So, what did I do? I packed up my bags, stayed with a friend in Baltimore on Friday night and spent all Saturday on the ballfield with the 14s. And it was wonderful.

I've been working with the 14s longer than I have the 16s--since I started with them in the Fall last year--but yesterday was really good for me to bond with them. At practices, I'm the coach that makes the girls run and catches them when they start talking about anything other than softball; I'm the hard-ass, for lack of a better word. Needless to say, I didn't make many friends over the winter. But yesterday, there was no pressure for me...I was just there to "help out." I tracked pitches and carried equipment and just hung out. The girls got to see another side of me, and I think they liked it. Sure they had their fun with me, poking jokes and asking me ridiculous questions about my personal life, but they're 14 years old. What did I expect? And, of course, now they're all on a mission to find me a husband. Yaaaaaaaay. (Sarcasm.)

Seriously, though, it was good. A great day, in fact. They went 3-1 and are playing in their 3rd elimination game as I write this...Here's to hoping they're out there playing their A game!

Anyway. The 16s seem to be struggling lately. I thought the week break between our first and second tournament would be good for the girls to get their heads right and come out to the field fresh. I was wrong. Personal lives, on-field tiffs, and general "tude-iness" crushed us. We lost every game on our own. And, yes, I mean to say we lost every game. We went 0-3 in pool play, lost our elimination game on Sunday morning and then lost the consolation game on Sunday afternoon. 0-5. 0-5!!! That makes us 1-8 for the season so far. And, really -- REALLY -- I could be okay with it if the losses were good games. One of them was a great game, but a loss. I'll take that one...plus it was my fault we lost; and I've learned my lesson so no need to dwell on it (again). But the other 7 losses? We beat ourselves. In the first tournament we had 21 errors in 4 games. In the second tournament we had 26 errors in 5 games. That means we're averaging 5.2 errors per game. I'm not happy about that at all. Neither are the girls.

So, I gave the girls an option at our mandatory practice on Thursday night: they could do 26 "tasks" of my choice or they would be mine for 26 minutes (to do whatever I say). They chose 26 minutes and I think they chose correctly. We did 13 minutes of sprints and push-ups and crunches and more sprints on that Thursday night. We'll do the other 13 minutes today and I still need to figure out what we'll do.

I really don't like punishing errors like this, but I'm hoping this will help them hate it. My only fear is that, with all the tudes, it will just drag them down. You see, our real problem is that when an error is committed, the negativity skyrockets...so another error follows...then another...then they can't hit because they're so mad...then another tude comes around with the "I'm sick of her tude" attitude. Ack! It's really such a viscious cycle. So, my fear is that...if they know they'll run for errors, they'll be afraid to make plays...and, thus, make errors. But this is the chance I'll take. We've got to find a way through the error/tude fog; it's really the only thing that's holding us back from being an AMAZING TEAM. And when I say AMAZING, I mean AMAZING.

I think the other half of our troubles last weekend was the fact that we picked up 2 new girls. And we never even got to practice as a whole team with them...so, of course, there was bound to be an adjustment period. But we had 1 mandatory (and 1 voluntary) practice last week; we've got another mandatory today, plus a voluntary on Tuesday and one last mandatory on Thursday. So we've got good time to get settled and comfy with ourselves and our team (again). Let me say, though, that the 2 new girls have great potential and will really add to the team...when we all get comfy-cozy, that is. :-D

Anyway, 13 more minutes today and then we let it go and move forward fresh. We go to NSA States in Williamsburg next weekend and, as much as I don't like going to bed mad/disappointed, I really hate going to bed in a hotel room mad/disappointed. Haha.

I'll try to update again this week and I'll definitely take my computer with me to Williamsburg next weekend. Until then...have a great one! And please...if you've got any coaching suggestions, comment here on the blog or drop me a line at ourladyofthediamond@gmail.com ... and remember, you can always tweet me (@ladyothediamond).

"We got that attitude!"

2010-05-28T00:03:00.000-04:00

For everyone in the world (well, maybe not everyone), it was just another Thursday. For me, it was moving day at work and an optional practice day at softball...that was, until I woke up.

As I stirred to the incessant beeping of my alarm clock, my phone rang with a text message from one of my girls: "Don't worry about the email I sent you, it's nothing. I'm over it." Dear god, I thought to myself sarcastically, today's going to be a good day.

Though the email, which I'll skip on the majority of the details, wasn't a happy one, it definitely brought a smile to my face. Even a few tears. "Why do you care?" it asked me. "Why do you try and help out an angsty 16-year-old...or 10 of them for that matter?"

"Why?" I wondered over and over again as I showered, dressed, made my lunch and left for work. "Why, indeed!?"

The email came from one of the girls on the team to whom I'm closest. And as I made my way to work, it hit me. In fact, as I said "hey," "thanks" and "have a great day" to the expressway's toll attendant, it hit me: "This is exactly why." Because an email came in to me in the middle of the night (I won't say when), from someone who cared enough to think about why I cared.

Okay, I know that reasoning was a bit weird, but I'm not a morning person. And, to put it in an adult perspective, it's like your husband/wife rolling over in the morning and asking, "Why are you still with me?" ...Not really cool, right?

But, really, it means that someone's thinking about you. That they're -- on some level -- appreciating what you do.

Now, I don't do what I do for the compliments, awards, trophies or appreciation. I do it because I love it; but I wouldn't love it so much, I think, if it didn't mean something...if I wasn't actually helping an angsty 16-year-old or two. It wasn't so long ago that I was that angsty 16-year-old, and I know this sounds cocky but I wish I had someone like "me" around to help me out.

In college, when we read "Alice in Wonderland" we talked about why Lewis Carroll wrote the book. The story I heard was that he just wanted to write something he'd like to read. That's the way I'd like to live, and coach. It's like the golden rule. I'd want someone to be positive, someone to be there for me, someone to pick me up when I'm down; so, that's what I do. The fact that I'm actually doing that makes my whole week.

Really, any time I get to see those girls it makes my week. They've always got a story, even if it's just about what they ate for lunch, and it's always such a different perspective on life. It's those moments when I realize that my life up to that point is minimal. Sure, I love and give my all to work. Sure, I love and give my all to my friends and family. But seeing those girls smile, succeed and grow into women is what really makes my heart tick. Sometimes I wonder how I got by all this time without that.

So, you know what? "[I] don't care what you may say, [I've] got that attitude. Don't care what you may do, [I've] got that attitude. [I've] got that PMA!" Bring on the bad emails, bring on the emo. Bring on the angst and the drama. Bring it, I'm here to stay...whether or not you like it. Because I like it. Because I've got that Postive Mental Attitude.

A success of sorts--lots and lots of sorts

2010-05-23T20:13:00.001-04:00

"Wow." That's all I could tell my girls after we lost our game this morning.

I honestly went into this weekend, thinking that we'd just have to survive. Figured we'd need a "B(itch) session" to let everyone express their frustrations this week. Figured I'd come out of this weekend with a notebook full of all the things we'd need to work on. But no.

We went 1-3 overall, but every game was better than the last. Our game this morning was stellar. A real great game. The girls gave 116% every pitch. And in the end, it came to a bad call on my part. We were up 3-1 against a team that ran us over yesterday (but a team we could beat) in the bottom of the 7th. That's when I switched pitchers. Granted my starter was getting tired and they were starting to hit her, but I should've let her stick it out for at least one out. We lost 4-3 with 1 out, on a sac fly and a close play at home.

My girls deserved that W. They earned it. I've never been so disappointed in myself in so long. But I trusted my closer pitcher. I thought she could come in and throw the other team for a loop. I should've known she'd need more time to find her rhythm. But just like the girls, I'm learning, too.

The best consolation I ever heard in my life is: "When two teams step onto a field, one will win and the other will lose." In this game, though, that definitely wasn't the case. Both teams walked away winners. We won that game fair and square for six and a half innings; they capitalized on my bad decision and pulled out the W. Yes, on paper we got the L, but we really did win.

I learned my lesson. I'll never do it again unless I absolutely have to. We shoud've been in the championship game today, but...

There will be plenty more tournaments, and even more games. We're lined up for seven more tournaments, including Nationals. I just hate that my girls proved so much this weekend and I let them down.

Damn. Really, that's all I can say now. We had a really bad 1st inning of the first game...after that, it was like a whole new team, a better team, each inning of each game. I've never been so proud in my life. They hit great, they had awesome plays in the field, they knew where the plays were, they communicated, they followed the coaches' instructions, they put up a helluva fight. Damn. Wow. That is not the team I'd been coaching the last 8 months. Yes--don't get me wrong!!--I knew they were a decent set of ballplayers, but they came together and played as a TEAM. Two weeks ago, before I left on my trip, I didn't have a team...I had a group of girls. This weekend, they all proved me wrong...I had a real team the whole time.

Now, I'm still learning what combinations work well and what my line-up strategy is, but that will come with time. As soon as I get that, we're straight.

All-in-all, I walked away from the tournament this morning with a HUGE smile on my face. I'm too excited for our next tournament. We don't play again until June 5th, and I lose a lot of girls this week to Varsity playoffs. So, as much as I don't want to take the time off and lose our momentum, I know we can get it back...and come out on top next time.

Watch out Virginia, my 16s are coming for your trophies. We're crazy and that's the way we like it.

No day like...tomorrow?

2010-05-22T00:19:00.000-04:00

Growing up, I went through a bit of a showtunes phase. Odd--I know, right? Anyway, Les Mis, RENT, The Sound of Music, Carosel, etc., etc. If my brother's drama club or my opera-singing friend performed it, I probably sang along to it in my room (when no one was watching).

After my showtunes phase, I fell into music...hard. Music became an outlet for me to express my anger, hurt, frustration, happiness, excitement, lethargy, whatever. So, these days, I feel like I have a song for everything.

I've got an at-bat song: "Time Bomb," Dismemberment Plan (Yes, this is the song they used for me in college.)
I've got a fight song: "Tech Triumph," Wilfred P. Maddux (class of 1920) ... Hokie Hokie Hokie Hi!
I've got a party song: "LGFAD," Motion City Soundtrack (had to omit the language)
I've got a frustration song: "Epoch Coda," Emarosa
I've got a betrayal song: "Seventy Times 7," Brand New
I've got a "don't mess with me" song: "I Am Hollywood," He Is Legend
I've got a hopeless song: "Does He Love You?," Rilo Kiley

I've got a calm-down song: "(This is) The Dream of Evan and Chan," Dntel ft. Ben Gibbard (AKA The Postal Service)
I've got a contentment song: "Passenger Seat," Death Cab for Cutie
I've got a conviction song: "Here's to Life," Streetlight Manifesto
I've got an epiphany song: "Redy Sky," Thrice
...Well, the list just goes on and on...not including the slew of songs I've written myself.

But when I think about everything I have to achieve, before I'm in a place to actually achieve it, I think of the reprise at the end of RENT:

There is no future, no is no past....
There's only us, there's only this.
Forget regret,
Or life is yours to miss.
No other road,
No other way.
No day but today.

I guess this version is really a song of looking back at one's actions and deciding to take a better path from that moment on, but it just reminds me that I never want to sing that song in retrospect. So, I sing it as a precaution.

Tomorrow begins my first tournament season as a (head) coach and all I can hope for now is that "I wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy." ...And that I remember to live as if there's "no day but today."

What, Me Worry?

2010-05-18T22:21:00.000-04:00

Why on Earth would I be worried? It's not like I've never coached a softball game before. It's not like I haven't spent the last 8 months training with my 16s for this. Most importantly, it's not like this is the biggest tournament of my or the team's careers.

Still, we've got 3 more days to go and my insides are starting to knot up. I've never given a pre-game pep-talk before. I've never been a real third base coach (with signs and strategy) before. I wasn't there at this Sunday's practice to see all the girls one last time before we all get together for warm-ups on Saturday morning.

Oh, sure, the list goes on but in times like these I always go back to that first list: the things I can do. And I just repeat it to myself (sometimes out loud) until I believe that I actually can do it all.

My high school math teacher used to always say, "If you're stuck on a problem, don't think about what you DON'T know. Just think about all the things you DO know and put those pieces together." If anything, it got you partial points for working through the problem and it did help calm you down so you could think straight. Usually, though, it helped you realize that you can figure out what you don't know in order to solve the problem.

So, here's everything (well, an abbreviated list...see "Softball 101" for more) that I do know.

I know all my girls. I know their strengths and weaknesses. I know their smiles and their laughs. I know their frustrations and their "tude" problems. I've even seen some of their tears.
I know all my assistant coaches. And I know they're behind me 100%. I know they're willing to help. I know they're great at what they do.
I know my co-head coach will be there to help me whenever and however I need it. I know I can trust her with even the stupidest of questions. I know she'll step in even if I'm too stupid to ask for help.
I know my book-keeper/score-keeper. Enough said, right?
I know "umpires." I've seen every call that could ever be possibly called on every play possible. I know how to talk to umpires. I know when to talk to umpires. I know how to pull other coaches away from umpires :)
I know the parents. I know they're supportive. I know they know the rules about not talking to the girls and staying away from the dug-out during games.
I know how to play a tournament. I know what food to bring. (Mental note: just got back from a 4-day cruise; ate entire contents of refrigerator prior to the trip; must go to the grocery store.) I know how much water to bring. I know that suntan lotion, sunglasses and a hat are always the first things you put in your bag.
I know how to do laundry during a tournament...and since I just got back from a cruise, I should probably do some!
I know how to sleep before a game. I've only done it about 3 million times, which means I've made this list about 2,999,999 times before.

And on that note, I think I'm finally calm enough again to go relax, do some reading and get a good night's sleep. :-D

By the way, I'm reading "Coaching Fastpitch Softball Successfully" by Kathy Veroni and Roanna Brazier right now. I got some strange looks when I was reading it pool-side on the cruise ship, but I highly recommend it. And if any of you who read this blog have read that book, I'd love to hear your comments on it!

Over the river and through the woods...in an ambulance...on Mother's Day

2010-05-09T18:52:00.000-04:00

When I was in high school, our tournament schedule started slightly sooner than the tournament schedule for my 16s today. And thank god. I'm really not sure how my parents did it...playing all the way through May (during high school ball), June and July. It's quite a strain on the mind, back, neck and back-pocket.

I gave my girls the weekend off so they could truly enjoy their mothers, hoping they'd realize that they won't see much of their moms for the rest of the summer. Oh sure, they'll spend countless hours with those fine women, who took (and take) the time to raise them, in the car on the way to practice and tournaments...only to pass them off to me, a sort of weekend babysitter, if you will. But those hours, I gaurantee you, will be spent with iPods on and eyes shut. They're 16, after all.

Or, if you're anything like me, those hours would be spent in the ER...on the way from the CAT scan to the X-Ray machine and back. I made quite a few of those trips in my day but one really stands out in my mind, even though the details are a bit fuzzy.

It was probably 2000, which means I was about 15, when our tournament in Catonsville, MD came to a very quick end for me on that Sunday, Mother's Day. A foul ball that the umpire didn't call loud enough, a hefty girl that hit the foul ball and barrelled down into me at first base, sirens, an oxygen mask, a body board and then a long ride to the hospital swept me away from the single-elimination game we were already losing. I don't remember all of it to this day, but I remember it was Mother's Day. I remember the look on my father's face and the phone call he made to my mother, as an Australian parimedic tried to keep me calm.

I'll never forget the way my mom rushed to the hospital, dropping whatever she was doing just to be with me. All my other coaches rushed over after the game, too, just as worried as my parents were.

So, it's times like those that make me remember how tournament teams really work: It's a big family. At the head of that family are the coaches (the surrogate mommies and daddies), then you've got all the daughters (the players). I'm not asking for a thank you or a happy mother's day card; don't think I've earned it yet :-D. But I'm just proud to be a part of all the girls' lives, helping them grow into mature women (and great softball players!). I've only been working with the 16s for 8 months now, but I'm getting a little teary just thinking about them going off to college and "leaving me behind." Haha, oh to be a woman.

I've got my mother to thank for everything from day one to day 8,778 (today). And I can't thank my co-head coach, the "bad cop," enough either for all her guidance over the last 8 months.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone who has children, especially daughters...regardless if their yours by birth, marriage, mentorship, team, etc., etc.

Just tell yourself everything is okay, and--VOILA!

2010-05-05T01:01:00.000-04:00

See what happens when you just have some faith? I lost it for one night, but got it back today before a one-on-one with one of my catchers. And I'll be damned if she didn't blow my mind tonight.

I knew there'd be distractions--including my 12U team practicing on the next field--and she's one that I can lose to distractions fairly easily, so I made her promise to give me 100% tonight. She gave me 110% for nearly ALL of our 2-hour practice. Plus, her footwork was stellar (even though we just started talking about it tonight) and she was very open to constructive criticism (instead of shutting down from it).

I don't know what to else to say besides, "BOOYAH." I mean, we use a water jug as a target for throwdowns and she broke it. She f'ing shattered the plastic. Now I have to buy a new water jug. But a $5 water jug in comparison to some really, really great form and strength? ...I think I can afford it!

BOOM! BOOYAH! FANCY! YOU KNOW!

Well that was emo...

2010-05-04T16:18:00.000-04:00

Apologies for the intense post last night. Just one of those nights, you know? Truth is, I have 100% faith in all of my girls on every team and every day I get to work with them is the happiest day of my life, even if it is a struggle. But like Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) says in A League of Their Own, "There's no crying in baseball!"

Wait...that wasn't the quote I wanted. Here it is:
"It's supposed to be hard....The hard is what makes it great."

I'd remove that post from last night, but all of it was true. It was just poorly delivered. As coach I have to remember that I can't just let go like that; because people rely on me; because I'm supposed to be a good role model for my girls; because I have to be a brand ambassador for my teams at all times. Plus, I'm nearly 25...I should know better than to lose my head like that! :-D

A friend at work asked me today to name my "brand pillars" for a blog she is writing, and it got me thinking about all that I just mentioned above. I mean, what does it really mean to be a coach?

Since you're here, you might as well get my opinion on it:

First and foremost, my job is to mentor the girls and help them become all that they can be on and off the field. And sometimes that means disciplining them, as I touched on last night.
Second, I have to be a leader. I'm the one that knows best (hopefully, right?!), so I call the shots. I'm the "general" on the field, and I have to be able to effectively communicate with the "captains" and "soldiers" on the field so that the whole unit moves as one...in the direction of victory.
Lastly, I've got to be a cheerleader. I've got to be the girls' number one fan and encourage them 100% along the way.

What do you think? Have I got my priorities straight or am I missing something here?

Long lapse in blogging, but not judgement...

2010-05-04T01:46:00.000-04:00

It's been a good while since I blogged last. I wholeheartedly apologize for that. There's no excuse, really. And between practices for my 12s and 16s, games for my 12s, watching the high school games for my 16s and games for my adult league, I've had very little time to think about anything besides softball. I just haven't, oddly enough, had time to blog about softball.

To be honest, A LOT has happened. I've got problems and success stories on both teams that I would really love to blog about and, while I spend every other waking minute thinking about them, I'm still not ready to blog about it fully. Below, as you'll notice, I'll cover the major problems...because, at this point, it's all I can think about. Negativity has hit me like a water balloon to the face--no literal pun meant about anyone who may have thrown a water balloon straight at my face at a certain 16s practice recently...

On my 12U softball team, I've got a serious confidence problem. No one's swinging because they're scared. And no plays are being made becuase they're not sure what to do. We've got a lot to work on as far as giving softball 115% and knowing what to do. We're having an extra practice tomorrow to go over all these things. I'll be doing a one-on-one with one of my 16s for most of the time, but I'll at least be close to by to keep a close eye out.

On my 16U softball team, we've got a serious "tude" problem, which is the least of our problems, I think. Some of my girls feel "left out" -- because travel ball is more like a family than "just a team" -- and some of my girls feel like they're being bossed around by the others. We've also got one F in school (there is no sarcastic joke here because I'm so disappointed, and I won't even go into the punishments involved), a slew of Cs and Ds, two suspensions and more injuries than I care to admit (meaning nearly every girl).

In other words, I have a lot to think about and plan out. And between the one-one-one I have tomorrow with one of my 16s, plus the 12U practice, plus high school games on Wednesday and Thursday, then Mother's Day weekend, I'm really not sure when I'll get a chance to think about it all. I mean, I'll definitely think about it all every spare second I get from work and just before I fall asleep at night, but I'm not sure I'll get a productive minute to think about it.

To be honest, I feel so frustrated beyond belief right now that I shouldn't even be blogging. I've got so much to write in my diary, but now I'm way too tired to do that and it's nearly 2am so I should definitely go go bed. Who has the time to deal with this stuff? I have no idea how parents do it...

What a difference a day makes!

2010-04-11T21:04:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if it was the week off--that the girls spent lounging around and tanning, mostly--or the pep-talk from one of the other head coaches, but my 16s looked GREAT today. Mentally and physically they were just on. Sure they missed a few opportunities offensively, but their defense was Strong (with a capital S). It's amazing how their good play really makes my day.

That's all. I don't really have much more to say. I'm in too good of a mood to blog. :-D

A commissioned blog post...though I do this crap for free.

2010-04-05T23:00:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I've got readers. I know there's about 5 or 6 of you out there, and that you spend about 5 minutes on my blog when you visit. I've got Google Analytics. :-D

One of my readers reached out to me recently, much to my excitement, and asked me to write something about the "rules" of softball. The reader explained that s/he didn't know much about the game, but enjoyed reading my blog (yes, my ego is inflating as I retell this story) and would like to know a little bit more about the game. When I suggested I pass him/her the 100+ page rule book, s/he suggested I just write about my favorite rules...or my least favorite rules...something, anything. Even though I don't get paid to write this blog (hell, I don't even get paid to coach!), I don't mind the comissioned work from my fans. So, here goes:

Softball 101
Softball is played on a "diamond" between two teams. Duh. It's a lot like baseball in that you have 9 defenders on the field and 9 batters in an offensive line-up. A 10th player--usually an "Extra Player" (or EP) or a "Designated Hitter" (or DH) is sometimes used to fill the 9th spot in the line-up to replace a defensive player, such as the pitcher, as a hitter.

Unlike baseball, however, the ball is larger--and not soft at all, for you true novices--and pitches are thrown underhand rather than overhand. Also, the basepaths in the diamond are shorter: 60ft between each base, rather than the 90ft in baseball. Consequently, the pitcher's mound is about 20ft closer to homeplate. The biggest difference between baseball and softball, however, is the length of the game: baseball has 9 innings with a 7th inning stretch so the fans don't get bored, while softball has 7 innings because we're better athletes that can do more exciting things in less time. Just kidding about the boring/exciting things...not about the length of the games, though.

There are two types of softball: slowpitch and fastpitch. Slowpitch is usually played by old men and little girls; while fastpitch is played by young, athletic women and some old men. There are two big differences between slowpitch and fastpitch. First, in slowpitch the pitch is delivered with an arc. (There's a lot more to be said on that topic, and I'll touch on it briefly a little bit later in this blog.) Second, in slowpitch there are often 10 defenders on the field (utilizing 4 outfielders instead of 3). Other differences include size of the ball (fastpitch balls are 11in, whereas most slowpitch balls are usally 12in, though get as large as 14-16in), leading and stealing (there is none in slowpitch), bunting and slapping (there is none in slowpitch), as well bat types (typicall slowpitch bats are much heavier and fastpitch bats are much lighter).

What makes fastpich softball actually different from baseball and slowpitch is a combination of those little things I just mentioned. Because the ball is larger (doesn't travel as far, see "physics" in your local library for more information), the diamond is smaller, and the ball is travelling upwards at the hitter (see more on the "arc" below), it allows for a faster, "shorter" game. By short, I don't mean 7 innings vs. 9; I refer to, instead, more bunting and "slapping" and less homeruns.

What's a bunt? Believe or not, there's bunting in baseball. You just don't see it much because the base paths are longer, thus it takes longer to travel from one base to the other. Anyway, back to the question. Bunting is a technique whereupon the batter hits the ball without swinging in order to place it about five feet in front of the catcher. See more on your friendly, neighborhood Wikipedia entry. In softball, bunting is used for a variety of purposes: to get on base, to advance runners (typically, a "sacrifice bunt") or, more specifically, to score a runner.

What's "slapping?" Slapping is something in between hitting and bunting. It's a half swing--much like you'll see a golfer do when he needs to place his ball on the green--used to hit the gaps in the field. Usually it's done in the "drag" style, when the girl is already moving through the batter's box, makes contact with the ball and continues running to first base. This is called a drag slap. (Note: most bunts for basehits are also done in the "drag" style, called--you guessed it!--"drag bunting.") This is something you definitely don't see in baseball, again because the base paths are longer. Because the infield is much smaller in softball, it's easier to place a hit between the infielders and outfielders, or in between the gaps; that's what makes slapping so appealing in softball.

Less homeruns? I bet you're thinking to yourself, "B-O-R-I-N-G!" Yeah, right! In college and professional softball (yes, there's professional softball), there is a decent amount of "homers" but in the younger leagues, it's a rare occurunce. This is where the "arc" comes into play, something that I do my damnest to teach all my hitters young and old:

In slowpitch, the ball is released from the hip arcs upwards (reaching a minimum league-defined height such as 9ft) and then come down throgh the hitter's strikezone; baseball pitching is not much different: it starts from the shoulder and comes straight down into the hitter's strikezone. In fastpitch, however, the pitch is released from the hip and comes straight UP into the hitter's strikezone. Again, I'll reference you to your intermediary "phsyics" textbooks for the whole scoop, but here's the gist of it: In order to successfully hit a slowpitch or baseball pitch you have have to swing UPWARDS at the ball, because the ball is coming DOWNWARDS to your strikezone. This is why baseball and slowpitch is all pop-flies and homeruns. In fastpitch, you have to swing DOWNWARDS at the ball because the ball is coming UPWARDS into your strikezone. This is why fastpitch is all groundballs and line-drives. This is why there are less homeruns in softball...fastpitch softball, at least.

I guess the only other BIG difference between fastpitch and slowpitch or fastpitch and baseball is that the pitching motion is much more intricate (and exhausting). It's done in the "windmill" fashion, allowing the pitcher to take 1.5 rotations in her motions, rather than just 0.5 rotations. I guess this is a little hard to write about and requires pitchers, but I'll do my best. In baseball, you have the ball in your glove, you reach back, come over your shoulder and release the ball; the rotation only completes 1/2 of a circle. Slowpitch is similar, except oposite: you have the ball in your glove, you reach back and swing your arm past your hip to release the ball (again, only 1/2 a circle). In fastpitch, you're allowed to take the ball from your glove, reach back, come forward and go all the way around your shoulder to your hip in order to release the ball; thus: 1-1/2 circle rotations. This is the thing that scares everybody about fastpitch, but it's really not that difficult...once you learn the fundmentals.

The last thing I'll note on is something I always hear funny remarks on from people who've never played (parents, friends, etc.) and it's the pitching speed. A lot of people who never played or watched before imagine softball as slowpitch...slow pitching. They don't realize that fastpitch is well...fast. So, they joke on the sport being "easy." The people who have at least seen, but not played, fastpitch are amazed at the speed that the girls can "hurl it in there," so the saying goes. When they stop to think about it, though, they realize it's only about 65-70mph. It's not like baseball, where the guys are throwing at speeds in the 90s, sometimes topping 100mph. So, now, let's go back to what we learned in the first paragraph of Softball 101:

Baseball diamonds are larger

basebaths are 90ft apart
the pitching mound is 60ft from homeplate

Softball diamonds are smaller

basepaths are 60ft apart
the pitching mound is (typically) 43ft from homeplate.

Time is relevant.

I know it's not a formal philosophical argument, but it'll server to make my point. Now, imagine a ball travelling at 90mph from the pitcher's mound to homeplate in baseball (60ft). How long does it take to reach homeplate? 0.454 seconds. That's how long. Now, imagine a ball traveling at 65mph from the pitcher's mound to home plate in fastpitch softball (43ft). How long does it take? 0.452 seconds. That's how long. Check the math. It's all there.

So, there you have it. Softball 101 in exactly 1,300 words. I hope you enjoyed it...and learned a little something, too :-D

And--for the record--thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any blog topic requests. You can find me on Twitter (@ladyothediamond) and I do accept emails to ourladyofthediamond@gmail.com.

Everyone reaches their peak, but only the best overcome it.

2010-04-05T21:16:00.000-04:00

Recently, two of my travel girls have decided not to play this year. I hate to call it "quitting" because it's not. Both expressed their love of the game when they told us the news and the frustration showed on their faces; they just chose to pursue other dreams and no one can hold that against them. I don't know what it is about softball, but it seems to be the one sport that a lot of athletes have trouble sticking with over the years. Maybe it's just because I played softball so I saw it in my former teammates. Maybe it's because it's one of the few sports for young females that gives you the opportunity to play at a level that's larger than high school. Maybe because it's so time-consuming, so expensive, so intense. When I was 11 and some of the girls on my 14U travel team were leaving softball, my dad explained to me simply: "They hit their peak." For some of them it was a physical peak--they just weren't able to keep up with the competition physically. And they're not to blame, nor were they bad players. For others, though, it was a mental peak: other things became more important; things like boyfriends, friends, school, other sports, other extra-curriculars, etc. Either way, I feel for the girls that leave it behind. But I know what it's like to make that decision because I've not only seen other girls make it, but I've had to make that decision too. It's a hard choice.

A lot goes into a decision. It's rarely just black and white, unfortunately. There are intricate gray pieces of the puzzle and, often, all the gray pieces look too much alike. Imagine a puzzle of a picnic scene on a perfect day, then think of all those sky-blue colored pieces that could fit anywhere above the picnicers' heads, somewhere surrounding the tree branches and above the green hill. For many of us mortals, it's difficult to tell the difference between all those pieces. So, we start shoving pieces together, fitting convex ovals into concave squares and muttering curse words under our breath (or loudly if your temper is as bad as mine once was). Now imagine those near-replicas are the factors in a decision...see where I'm going with this?

I've made a lot of decisions in my life when it comes to softball. First was the decision to stop playing; the 6/7-year-old division just wasn't cutting it for me, so I joined the baseball program. That was an easy decision and, being only 7 years old, I'm fairly sure my parents were the ones that actually made the decision. Second was the decision to start playing again; the 9/10-year-old baseball division just wasn't working as planned, mostly because I was a girl and 9- and 10-year-old boys don't like 9-year-old girls (especially ones who are better). That decision was a bit more difficult to make: it involved not wanting to give in or give up and not making the All-Star team because some of the boys' mothers wouldn't have been happy if a little girl was playing instead of their sons. The next decision I had to make concerning softball was a few years later when I tried out for another travel team (albeit a better program, though that particular team went on to fail big time); I decided to stick with my team of friends. I faced that decision twice more before I finished playing travel ball as a kid; and I always went back to my team of friends, mostly because it was comfortable. Then there was the biggest decision I ever made, though I can't give you an explicit reason why.

Of course, the decision wasn't black and white. If it was, why would I have led up to it with that long paragraph about a stupid puzzle of a stupid picnic scene?

I was in college. I practiced every single day, but only actually played in "5" games with 4 at-bats. (The 5th game was one where they subbed me in but the game ended before I got my at-bat.). I caught every single game, but never got a chance to squat behind the plate in a game. I was involved in every single game, though. I tracked pitches for our hitters, stole signs for the team, tracked pitches for our pitchers, kept pitchers warm in the bull-pen, cheered, sang and enjoyed the spirit of the game. [Ed. note: Looking back, I'm not really bitter--just disappointed, I guess. And thinking back to then, I wasn't bitter...I was too anxious to be bitter.]

My grades were slipping, though. I was tired all the time. I ached all the time. We were on the road all the time. I didn't really get along with all the girls--a big switch from that "comfortable" travel team I played with the 7 prior years--but I didn't really try, either. The trainers paid little attention to me unless I was actually hurt because the starters needed them more, but I was too busy to sit around and wait my turn. Oh well, it's all part of the game right? Right. ...And, go figure, after changing my Major a year later, my grades improved dramatically.

I should've kept playing. I know that now. I should've been happy with what I had--my dream of playing on an NCAA softball team--because it was awesome. If I could go back, I'd have stuck it out. But back then, I just knew that I had to let it go. It was an emotional decision, and there was one major emotional blow that really broke the straw on the camel's back...or, really, broke my heart.

We all met individually with the head coach at the end of the year to discuss our season re-cap and things to work on over the summer so we could improve next year. I remember being pretty calm when I went into the meeting. I don't remember the whole meeting, but I remember two major points. The first was that I'd have to try-out for the team again the next year. That was cool. I wasn't a starter and I was a walk-on in the first place. We were losing our starting catcher, there were 2 bull-pen catchers (including myself) who were both walk-ons, and one major catcher recruit coming in. I was fine with trying-out again, I felt confident that I could make the team. But the second point, which I'll never forget, was: "It's okay to be a bull-pen catcher, people make millions being a professional bull-pen catcher." ACK!

First, I never expressed disasstifaction with being a bull-pen catcher. Like I said, I was a walk-on, there was another walk-on who was a year older than I was and the starter was a senior. Sure, I wasn't particularly excited about doing all the dirty work without really reaping any of the benefits, but I never complained to the coaches. Maybe I asked if there was a chance I could get some playing time like he gave us at-bats...like I said, I don't remember the whole conversation. Anyway. Who makes millions being a professional bull-pen catcher? I don't know any softball player that makes millions by playing softball.

My head coach had come from a baseball background before he moved to softball. We had our differences in playing style, of course, but I was in no place to argue with his coaching tactics...and I never did. But it was this little statement of his that turned me off of the program all together. Did he think I'd sit back and be like "dang, true...I'm completely fine with settling as a bull-pen catcher?" Or did he think it'd spur me to work harder and earn a starting spot? I never asked so I guess I'll never know. Either way, it just seemed like a copout. Like he was admitting I'd never go further than being a bull-pen catcher. And coming right off of the "you'll have to try-out again" line, it was a pretty ominous statement.

The funny thing is that I did walk out of his office that day and thing, "dang, he's right...bull-pen catchers can still do it for a living." It was a few days before I realized how ridiculous his statement was. Then I got my final grades in. I talked with my parents about it and they agreed that I was making a good decision. The right decision, you ask? They never said, of course. Who's to say what's "right" and "wrong" in our lives, anyway?

I cried off and on for a good week or two and when early August rolled around I felt sick to my stomach, thinking that I should be out there playing again. I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it these days, but I look back on my whole college experience and am beyond content with what I had. And look at me now--I've got softball back in my life. I had my fair share of innings in life and, though I chose to step down before, perhaps, my 7th inning was done (before the "fat lady" sang, if you will), I'm back in a new game.

I guess you could say I hit my mental peak. And the thing that makes a great athlete is the ability to overcome that peak. I'm not saying I'm a great athlete, but I hit that wall, let it fall down on me, then found the stregnth to get back up and try again. It only took 4.5 years for me to do it, but I'm back in the clear and it never felt so great.

I wonder if other coaches think about these things. The ones that coach high school teams or coach their daughters' travel teams. I know I think about it every time I watch my girls lace up their cleats, wondering if they'll let it be the last time. Or maybe I'm just thinking about it more often thes days because of recent occurences. Hopefully I'll forget about it by the time tournaments roll around in July.

Starting from scratch, despite the occassional gas

2010-03-18T23:18:00.000-04:00

Alternative (serious) title: "Learning softball & coaching for the first time...again"

We had our first 12U fastpitch practice tonight and most of the girls were able to come, which was awesome. Only two of the girls have played fastpitch before, which is two more than I expected. :) But we've got a handful of girls that have never ever played softball before! Needless to say, I'm shakin' in my boots...err, cleats.

I definitely didn't expect to need Softball 101 tonight. My practice plans included a lot of Fastpitch 101, since I THOUGHT that most of the girls played on the 10U slowpitch team with me last year; so I planned to talk about all the similarities and differences of slowpitch vs. fastpitch, as well as reviewing throwing techniques. We did some throwing techniques, which leaves a lot to be desired from some of the new-to-softball girls, but spent the majority of practice just walking around the field and talking about every position. Literally, I have girls that didn't know how many players are on a softball field.

On the other hand, I've got a few girls that really know and love softball. It's going to be hard for me to give them the amount of time they deserve so they can learn and excel, considering the amount of time I'll need to spend with the new girls, teaching them the basics so they can actually play in a game. Games start in exactly one month. Will it be enough time to prepare the team? We'll practice twice a week until games start, and I think we can get it done. But that's really only like 16 practices. I wonder if anyone's done a study on the amount of time it takes a kid to learn a new sport...

What I find funniest about this situation is the mental leap I have to make, turning from my 16s to my 12s. With my 16s, we're basically just honing the skills and knowledge they've already developed. With my 12s, I have to figure out ways to properly explain "how to step and throw." I feel like I'm learning how to coach all over again, starting from scratch. I'll just keep telling myself that it's for the best, that it'll make me a good coach. Maybe it will help me communicate better with my 16s?

And as funny as that mental leap may be right now (when I'm sleep deprived from work and a little too much fun on St. Patrick's Day), it scares the bejeesus out of me. Having to tone down the mental game from when I work with the 16s for when I work with the 10s will be difficult. I had a lot of fun with the 10s last year and was able to leave a lot of the "seriousness" off the field--it was 10U rec slowpitch, after all... But I wasn't working with a travel team then; I didn't have serious softball in my life at that time. Now that I have my 16s, I'm back in the swing of "play to win," "play to get into college" and the general fierceness of competition. I expect a lot from my 16s, so I'm afraid if I can't turn it off at the 12s practices, it will just lead to my own disappointment. Luckily, I'll have nearly a whole week to transition from the 16s (who practice on Sundays) to the 12s (who practice on Thursdays and Saturdays). Maybe that physical gap in time will help establish my mental gap between the two teams.

The other half of my worries is: What if I can't turn off the "play to have fun!" and "let's be silly and play TV tag for rest of practice" mentality when I go into work with the 16s? Practice with the 16s isn't fun, it's work. It's supposed to be! Those girls have a lot to do in order to accomplish their goals and compete in the space. So, the games we play involve skills and knowledge...and they always end with the losers doing conditioning. I've heard gossip from the girls that some of the girls think of me as a "pain in the rear" (my words, not theirs haha); maybe this is why! Anyway, that's a blog for a different day, I guess. But, that's what it takes to play in college and to even compete at that age in travel ball; it's not about "just chillin" and lounging under the team's canopy on a hot weekend day anymore!

Regardless, I know I'll make it work. And the 12U will be a fun team to play with and a great experience for me. Point in case: When I asked, "Who knows what the worst part about catching is?" One of the girls responded, "the occassional gas." Looking back at the 9 years I spent wearing 15 pounds of plastic and padding in 100+ degree heat, the 1,500-count bottles of ibuprofen I needed for my knees to make it through a season and all the crap I got from pitchers and umpires...I realize now that the occasional gas (from the batters) should've made my list of "reasons I secretly hated catching." Needless to say, it is now officially on my list of "reasons I really love coatching."

What we do in the meantime is usually stupid...

2010-03-15T20:22:00.000-04:00

I've come to realize (over the nearly-25 years of my life) that what we do, if it isn't sleep, in the "meantime" is usually stupid. For example, you take a night off and end up either dancing until the wee hours of the morning or wasting away on the couch watching movies. And unless you're a professional dancer or a film critic, neither of these will help you excel in life. Sure, they may give you that extra pep in your step for a day or two, but will they really help you do and feel better in the longer run of your life?

I sit here tonight faced with a conundrum. I know I should've said no, my better judgment PLEADED for me to say no; but I said yes when another team asked me to coach. Granted, I didn't make a full committment, but I did say that I'd help out as much and as long as I can.

What's the problem, you wonder? Why should have I have said no?

I billed 100 hours in the last two weeks at work. And that's not "on the clock," that's just work that we can charge our clients.

So what, you say? ...You billed 120 hours last week alone? Awesome. I hope you have a law degree or a doctorate in medicine. I don't. I'm just a lowly English major on a starting salary with a small company. Now don't get me wrong, I love my job (especially because I know that my boss knows about this blog lol), but I've got a lot on my plate and adding another softball team to the meal is like pushing the apple into the stuffed pig's mouth.

To make things worse, it's 12U team that's going into fastpitch for the first time ever! I've played fastpitch since I was their age, but I've only coached it for approximately 4 months now! Lord have mercy on my soul. :-D

Honestly, it's going to be a lot of fun and I know that I'm sure as hell going to learn a lot about myself as a coach. I can't remember the last time I had to think about things as natural as sliding, but now I have to somehow remind myself of what you're supposed to think when you "just know to" slide. I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm not looking forward to losing 2 more nights and one more day of my week. Between writing the practice plans (because I'm the only coach on the team with experience), holding practice and then having games on Saturdays, I might just lose my mind. I'll tell you, my 16s may not be happy to see my on Sundays for their practice.

Then I think about it a little more and I think about what I want to do with my life. I probably won't ever coach an olympic team (har har, right?) and I'll probably never coach a college team, but I know I like coaching and I know I want to keep doing it. Probably becuase, even at my age, it feels kind of weird not to be out on the softball diamond on summer weekends. So, I guess it's not really something stupid that I did here. Sure it's going to make me a little more busy and a hell of a lot more tired, but it'll be worth it. 100% worth it.

Now: I'm going to write up the plan for Thursday's first 12U fastpitch practice and then I'm going to sleep...because God knows I'll need both. In the meantime, someone go get me a beer--or would that be stupid? ;)

First Practice as a "Big Girl"

2010-02-28T19:26:00.000-05:00

Growing up, I always played softball with older girls. I was just too awesome for my own age bracket. ;)

What happens when you have one girl playing with girls that are two (and even sometimes three years) older is not necessarily good. Sure I learned a lot and was a better player for it, but I was allowed some priveleges the others weren't. For example, I was allowed to lose my head (i.e., temper) because I was just "little Stephanie." And, while the other girls did other things their age like dating and driving, I always fell behind. So, I fell into a rut, always wondering when I'd be "all old and mature" like the girls who were naturally 2-3 steps ahead of me. In a way, it kept me young. But in a way, it kept me looking up to someone else instead of myself.

And okay, I was a captain of the JV and Varsity sports I played, but in high school that's like being "head counter of the stretching circle." It's not much of a real leadership position.

That all changed when I went to college and walked on to the NCAA-DI softball team. I was a lowly freshman--and a walk-on--so I didn't get much time or attention from the other girls and coaches. I wasn't a starter and I wasn't even in the rotation; I was a bull-pen catcher, pitch-tracker and equipment manager. I learned quickly that if I wanted batting practice, I had to make time to do it before or after practice (since I pretty much only caught during practice). And if I wanted to really learn anything or hone a specific skill, I had to reach out and ask for that help. Luckily, we had a great pitching coach who worked with all the catchers with scouting and pitch-calling. Because the bull-pen catchers were responsible for not only tracking our own pitchers but the opposing team's pitchers during the games, we spend hours in the coach's office or in the locker room reviewing scouting tape after scouting tape and discussing the opposing team's weaknesses. I think that was the first time I really started thinking for myself in the "big picture" idea of softball.

Sure I'd called my own pitches before college; and I knew HOW to call pitches based on the hitter's swing, stance, history, number of outs, pitch count, etc. But when we did the scouting reports in college, I started thinking about calling pitches based on my own team's strengths and weaknesses. We talked about which pitchers to throw to which teams, and being a bull-pen catcher it was my job to know how each pitcher was throwing at all times. It was kind of like being an assistant coach's assistant coach. I got to say "No, don't throw her, her drop-change isn't working today; throw her instead because her knuckle ball is definitely working today." I had a say in the line-up.

And my dad used to ask my opinion when he helped put together line-ups for my summer ball team as a kid. That was always fun for me. We discussed who should bat where and why. But, really, it was just fun. It wasn't like I was actively managing the team's game decisions.

Now I have that opportunity. I am co-head coach of a 16U travel ball team. I'll be making the line-ups. I'll be giving the signals on third base (well maybe not yet) and behind the plate. I'll decide who plays where and when. I'll plan the practices and stations. And I'll have to be able to multi-task in order to do it all.

Today was my first practice as THE coach of the team. Today, I realized when I got home, I was a Big Girl. And it went alright, I think. It could have gone better, but it could have been a lot worse. Mainly, I still need to work on timing of stations. I also need to work on keeping the girls focused and on their A game. A lot of the girls on my team don't focus if it's not their turn, and most will give up if they start messing up. These will be our biggest two challenges overall. And it's tough to balance the two. I want the girls to have FUN when they play, but I don't want them goofing off and distracting themselves or others. I also want the girls to keep at it and have fun, even if they miss a grounder or make an over throw. At the level of 16U, there's little room for these errors and I know that these two mental errors (lack of focus and giving up) are what cause the physical errors. I've been through it all, so I know.

And today was my first day as the Big Girl, showing them how it gets done. I don't have the full respect of all the girls yet, but I'm hoping that won't take long. I just need to keep doing my job as the leader.

As for line-ups and signals and all that other coaching stuff, I still have some time to wrap my head around it all.

Communication in a Modern Age

2010-02-22T22:05:00.000-05:00

I'm no novice in the modern age. I field emails from my BlackBerry wherever I am (which I did all this weekend), tweet, text, blog and use Facebook for a variety of "networking" purposes. Earlier this year, my phone died on a Friday night when I'd left my charger at work and my parents showed up at my apartment on Sunday morning to make sure I hadn't been left for dead in some alley (since they couldn't get through to me all weekend). Eight years ago, when my travel softball career was coming to a close, none of this was even fathomable. The cell phone I had was for emergencies, the "blog" I had was a typical teenager's diary that shouldn't have been published for the world to see, I didn't text, and neither Twitter nor Facebook existed. Today, though, it feels as if I can't survive without any of these tools. (Side note: two other things I didn't have eight years ago that seem to be with me everywhere I go now are Pandora and my iPod.)

I work for a technologically-advanced company. We work on Twitter and Facebook and email (and more, of course); so I've used these tools for business and pleasure. (Another side note: making the transition from using Facebook for pleasure as a college student to using Facebook as a professional was one of the most difficult in my life. LOL.)

But what has surprised me in the recent past (as in the last few months) is that the girls on my softball teams use these "new media" tools as a means of communication with their coaches. Sure, I'll text my boss to let her know when I'm running a few minutes late for work--because it's less confrontational than a phone call, haha--but I'd never really use these tools to communcate with my colleagues for work purposes. That is, I'd never send someone a Facebook message or Tweet to remind them of an upcoming deadline. So my online interaction with the girls I coach has surprised me, if nothing else.

I never would have texted--or even called--a coach in the past just to "shoot the shit." Then again, saying that I "never would have" is a bit presumptious. I never could have. Hell, I didn't even call my teammates in the off season--we called ourselves "Summer Sisters" because we were SO close during the tournament season, and only during the tournament season. But I suppose if I'd had the means to be my teammates and coaches' "friends" on Facebook, I would have. I would have uploaded pictures of us from tournaments; I would've complained online about how boring practice was. :-D

These tools really open up a whole new means of connecting with others through sharing of information; and I know I shouldn't be scared of it. I'm already "friends" with my clients on social networking tools like Facebook and Twitter. What's the difference between them and the girls on my team? I still have to watch my language, monitor (and sometimes censor) the pictures of me that are posted and, generally speaking, "keep it clean."

I guess my big fear is that the internet cannot replace real, face-to-face, human interaction. Everything is seen only as it's written and most things are seen after they're already done. Everything's left up for interpretation and when that happens, things can be misconstrued very easily. Recently, one of the coaches brought to our attention some "unsavory" social media posts from girls on the team. They're teenagers, so it's to be expected to a certain degree. And, whereas we'll have to have a little talk about the permanence and visibility of what you write on the internet with the girls, I absolutely know that I'll also have to keep a close eye on what I write out there.

It's a strange world compared to what it was eight years ago. I look forward to becoming closer with the girls I coach and I don't want these lines (of communcation) to get in the way. For now, though, I'll tread lightly until I get a better feel for how thin the ice really is.

Softball vs. Work

2010-02-15T21:02:00.000-05:00

I work hard on pretty much everything I do. Sleep is pretty much the only exception. "So what's the problem," you ask?

I apparently spent a little to much "work" on watching the Olympics and preparing for softball this weekend. Instead of getting caught up on real work -- the kind I get paid for, you know -- I used my weekend for weekend things. (How dare I?!)

Anyway, the point is that I'd love to update this with more information on how practice went on Sunday and all the lovely valentines I got from the girls, but I can't. I have to get back to work because it's not like I haven't already worked for 12 hours today...

Back to the Gym

2010-02-14T11:32:00.000-05:00

After a two-week, forced hiatus -- thank you, Mother Nature, for all the snow -- we're going back to the gym today. And, I'll tell you, I'm a little afraid for the focus level.

I grew up in the suburbs between DC and Baltimore, but my family moved Richmond when I went to college. These past few weeks have brought winter storm after winter storm of nightmarish proportions to my little hometown in Maryland. And needless to say, the majority of my friends from home have been in and out of work for nearly a month. In fact, the majority of my friends from home are teachers and haven't been work at all in nearly a month. Whereas I can't say that I don't envy them, I do feel bad for them from time to time. How do you deal with a class-full of kids who can't remember the what they were working on before the break, let alone the day that they last went to school?

Now today, I'm facing the same troubles of all my teacher friends: How do I get the girls back on track when we finally get back into the gym? (So maybe that's why I feel so empathetic towards my friends who just had a month-long surprise vacation while I continued to work?)

I've got both teams before we break up into offense and defense; and today's a 14s day on offense. I spent all week trying to figure out how I can keep a gym-full of 13/14-year-olds on track and I'll admit my plan's not genius. I'm not even sure it will work. But it's short and it's all that I've got right now: introduce a new skill. Of course, we'll run them to start and then we'll break up into O/D groups. Then, the 14s on offense today get to sit with yours truly and talk about..."the short game" of softball. What's on the agenda, more specifically?

How is softball different from baseball?
What is "the short game?"
What is bunting?
Why do we bunt?
How do we bunt?
When do we bunt?
What is drag bunting?
Why do we drag bunt?
When do we drag bunt?
What is slapping?
Why do we slap?
When do we slap?
What is drag slapping?
Why do we drag slap?
When do we drag slap?
What is swinging away?
Why do we swing away?
When do we swing away?
Why & when do we we:

Hit and run?
Bunt and run?
Slap and run?

Of course, I only have 20 minutes scheduled to cover all that -- so we may not get through it all. I'd at least like to get to a point where the girls understand when and why to bunt and slap. And if our "pitching" coach (he doesn't coach the pitchers but he can pitch to batters better than the rest of us) agrees, I'd like the girls to start at least slapping in his live hitting station.

Other than that, the plan's pretty much the same. A few tee stations, soft-toss stations and bunting off the machine.

So, we'll see... Wish us luck.

And happy Valentine's Day, by the way. I almost forgot. ;)

Introductory Rites

2010-02-12T23:29:00.000-05:00

First, let me say, "WELCOME!" Whether this is your first time here or your last, welcome.

Why are you here? Well, I'm not sure. I'm not you. Chances are you already know me and stumbled upon this through Google's new "Buzz" or maybe you follow me on Twitter.

Either way, you're here. So let me tell you what you're in for.

When I was playing softball as a young(er) girl, my father and I shared a joke about softball games on Sunday mornings. While we attended church for the majority of the year, we never attended on Sundays during the summer. Why? Because of softball.

Softball tournaments were always Saturday through Sunday; if not Friday night through Sunday. Even if you finished last in the round-robin brackets you played on Sunday morning. It wasn't long 'til we started considering Sunday morning games as "attending Our Lady of the Diamond," since we both chose softball over church.

Now nearly 25 years old, I'm a new coach. I've coached a 10U slowpitch softball team and now I'm also coaching 2 travel fastpitch teams: a 14U and a 16U.

And to be honest, I wrote a long blog about who I am, my history and all that jazz, and then Blogger--for some reason or another--lost it all. So I'll spare you all that goodness tonight.

What I hope to do with this blog, though, is to track the progress of my girls (who will remain anonymous), our league, our trips and my coaching. I hope you'll stick with me through it all.